A Barbaric Proposal Chapter 58

※A Vow Upon Her Heart※

Black tilted his head, his gaze searching her as if trying to decipher a map of a territory he had never visited.

[Liene] "It’s alright if you aren't... 'alright'."

She whispered.

[Liene] "I’m the one who deceived you."

[Black] "At first, it truly didn't matter. Even if you were carrying another man’s child."

His voice dropped to a low, gravelly rasp.

[Black] "I was the one who decided to take you, and I viewed it as the price of proposing to you so late. It didn't matter whose blood the child carried. I would have raised it as mine. To me, owning you was always more vital than the child. I thought I was fine with it. But..."

The tension in his brow finally ebbed, his features smoothing out.

[Black] "I suppose I wasn't as fine as I thought."

[Liene] "I don't understand. What are you saying?"

[Black] "When you told me it was a lie, something just... snapped."

Black tapped his chest, right over his heart.

[Black] "Right here. It feels..."

He paused, searching for a word that didn't exist in a soldier’s vocabulary. He seemed a stranger to his own emotions, a man learning a new language in real-time.

[Black] "Clean. Lighter."

His lips parted, curving into a rare, genuine smile that transformed his face.

[Black] "As if a weight I hadn't realized I was carrying has simply vanished."

[Liene] "That sounds like you’re happy."

[Black] "I believe I am. Does it hurt?"

The abrupt shift in his question caught her off guard.

[Liene] "What? I just told you I didn't lose a child—"

[Black] "Then I'll take that as a 'no'."

His hand cupped her face, the familiar, heavy warmth of him pressing her back into the pillows.

When his lips crashed against hers, the scent of him—leather, cold air, and something uniquely him—swirled on her tongue. It brought a sudden, sharp sting of tears to her eyes.

Yes. This is greed. 

She knew it then. Hiding the truth of the past wasn't an act of mercy for him; it was an act of survival for her. She didn't want to protect him—she wanted to keep him.

She wouldn't lose him. She couldn't.

She would bury her father’s sins in the deepest part of her heart. Even if the guilt gnawed at her for the rest of her life, she would remain silent.

[Liene] "Wait... just a moment."

The kiss was fierce, an exhausting, desperate thing. Liene struggled to catch her breath, whispering against his mouth.

[Liene] "Slow... please, slow down..."

[Black] "As you wish."

He agreed easily enough, but his eyes were dark with a hunger that suggested he hadn't heard a word she said.

He looked like a man possessed, his focus narrowing down to the curve of her throat and the heat of her skin.

He pulled her into his lap, and she found herself straddling him, the thin fabric of her nightgown offering no protection against his heat.

[Liene] "I said... slow..."

[Black] "Yes."

[Liene] "You’re not... slowing down at all."

[Black] "I'm not."

[Liene] "No..."

[Black] "No."

Then why are you even answering me?

The kiss was as suffocating as it was intoxicating.

Liene wanted to hold him, to pull him closer, but her limbs felt like lead, heavy with a delicious sort of exhaustion.

[Liene] "It hurts."

She managed to mumble when his lips finally migrated to her jaw. Her mouth felt swollen and tender from the sheer friction of him.

[Black] "Hurt?"

That word, at least, had the power to give him pause. He pulled back just enough for their eyes to meet.

[Black] "Where?"

Liene cupped his face, her fingers tracing the sharp line of his cheekbones.

[Liene] "My lips. You bit me."

[Black] "Ah..."

His expression stiffened as he caught sight of the faint tooth mark on her lower lip. His immediate, visible guilt was so endearing that it made her heart ache.

[Liene] "Let’s save the rest for later."

Black shook his head with a sharp, huffed laugh.

[Black] "And how long must I wait?"

[Liene] "I don't know. Tomorrow?"

[Black] "And will it stop hurting by then?"

[Liene] "I think so."

By tomorrow, she hoped her heart would be sturdier.

This feeling—this intense, overwhelming sensation of being wanted—made her feel as though she might crumble under the weight of her own secrets.

Perhaps by tomorrow, she would be strong enough to bear it.

[Black] "Do I still frighten you?"

[Liene] "No. Why would you ask that?"

[Black] "I've been told my reputation precedes me. It’s rarely pleasant."

Liene watched the way his brow, scarred and rugged, twitched downward.

Does he have any idea? That I love every part of this?

That I’m grateful, and so, so sorry? 

The guilt was a physical pain, a lump in her throat that made her want to weep every time he looked at her with such reverence.

[Liene] "Based on the way you're looking at me, I can safely say the rumors of you preferring the company of men are false."

She traced the line of his cheekbone, her voice a mere breath.

[Black] "The other rumors aren't true either. Most of them."

He added that last part with such uncharacteristic uncertainty that she couldn't help but laugh.

[Liene] "I know."

[Black] "Good."

Black gathered her in his arms and settled her back onto the bed.

[Black] "Can you sleep now?"

[Liene] "No. I’m wide awake."

[Black] "Then what would you like me to do?"

The answer required no thought at all.

[Liene] "Go wash."

Black flinched slightly.

[Black] "Do I smell of the road?"

[Liene] "No. But you aren't getting under these covers until you've bathed. Wash up, then bring your blankets and your pillows."

And then, hold me all night.

Hold me until the world outside these walls ceases to exist.

Hold me until the only thing left of me is the greed to have you.

[Black] "Wait for me."

He leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to the bridge of her nose. The fact that he chose her nose because he feared hurting her lips again nearly undid her.

[Liene] "Hurry back."

She closed her eyes, and she heard him let out a sharp, guttural sound through gritted teeth.

[Black] "If you keep looking like that, I won't be able to leave at all. Don't say another word."

Liene smiled, the faint mark on her lip stretching.

Black didn't look away until the smile faded, his gaze as heavy and searing as any kiss.

---

Despite her claim of being wide awake, Liene fell into a deep, dreamless slumber.

When she finally opened her eyes, it wasn't the pale light of dawn that greeted her, but the bright, late-morning sun. And the first thing she saw was Black’s face.

[Black] "Did you sleep well?"

It was impossible to say no when she felt so refreshed.

[Liene] "Yes."

She was still tucked firmly against him, enveloped in his scent and warmth.

It was strange—the weight of his arm across her felt heavy, yet it was the most comfortable she had ever been.

[Liene] "When did you wake up?"

[Black] "At my usual time."

[Liene] "And you've just been... staying here?"

[Black] "I lost track of time. I wasn't bored."

His thumb brushed over her eyelid, his touch feather-light. He gave her a faint, almost imperceptible smirk.

[Black] "I don't think I've ever seen eyelashes this long."

[Liene] "Really?"

[Black] "I've been wanting to touch them, but I didn't want to wake you."

[Liene] "You should have."

His eyebrows shot up as if she’d suggested something entirely scandalous.

[Black] "Do you want to sleep more?"

[Liene] "No. I think I've slept for over a day. I should get up."

[Black] "You can stay. Just a little longer."

[Liene] "That would be lazy."

[Black] "And what’s wrong with being lazy?"

It was odd. He seemed to want her to stay in bed. He had spent days waiting for her to wake up, yet now he was encouraging her to drift back to sleep.

[Liene] "What exactly are you planning to do while I’m sleeping?"

[Black] "What I’ve been doing."

[Liene] "Which is?"

[Black] "Admiring you."

His thumb slowed its rhythm.

[Black] "Looking at the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life."

Thump. 

Liene felt her heart skip.

[Black] "The more you linger in bed, the more time I get to keep this moment. So, be lazy. For me."

Where did he learn to speak like this? Certainly not on a battlefield.

[Liene] "I think you're lying."

She was surprised by her own bluntness.

[Black] "I am not."

[Liene] "No, I mean... You told me you weren't experienced. That you wouldn't be good at this."

She peered at him.

[Liene] "That feels like a lie. You seem far too experienced."

Black looked genuinely flustered. He swallowed hard before leaning down to press his lips to the crown of her head.

[Black] "I wish I could tell you that was a lie."

[Liene] "Aha! I knew it."

[Black] "Forget I said that. I'll figure out how to be... proficient. One way or another."

[Liene] "Are you saying you aren't already?"

[Black] "If you think I am, then I've succeeded."

He trailed off, clearly eager to change the subject. He kissed her forehead, his breath warm against her skin.

Liene felt a surge of pure, unadulterated happiness—followed by a sharp prick of jealousy.

The idea of someone else experiencing this side of him before her was intolerable.

[Liene] "I don't like it. I don't like it at all."

Liene poked him in the chest.

[Liene] "I won't hold your past against you, especially the parts I don't know. But you shouldn't admit it so easily."

Black winced as if her finger were a dagger.

[Black] "I agree, but I had a reason."

[Liene] "A reason to boast about your past?"

[Black] "A reason to ensure I wasn't rejected again."

[Black] "But you were the one who said you couldn't accept someone who wasn't—"

[Liene] "Stop! Don't say it!"

Liene slapped a hand over his mouth. She remembered saying those words now—a desperate lie told to keep him at a distance.

[Liene] "I didn't mean it."

[Black] "Didn't mean what?"

His lips moved against her palm, a soft, vibrating sensation.

[Liene] "That... that part."

She couldn't meet his eyes. She turned her head, staring at the bedpost.

[Black] "Tell me exactly what you didn't mean."

[Liene] "Whether you're 'proficient' or not... I wouldn't even know how to judge such a thing."

[Black] "Then why did you say it?"

[Liene] "Because I didn't want to sleep with you."

[Black] "Why?"

[Liene] "Because... I was afraid you’d find out."

[Black] "Find out what?"

[Liene] "That I... I didn't have any experience either."

Once the words were out, the embarrassment was too much to handle. Liene tried to roll away, to escape the circle of his arms.

[Liene] "I’m getting up. I'm using the bath first."

[Black] "Oh, no, you don't."

It was a futile effort. Black effortlessly hauled her back, pinning her beneath him.

It was a position that should have felt restrictive, yet she felt entirely safe.

[Liene] "Let me go... I’m too embarrassed to look at you."

[Black] "I can't do that."

[Liene] "Why not?"

[Black] "Because after hearing that, I can't just let you walk away."

[Liene] "I don't see why it matters."

[Black] "It might not matter to you, but it means everything to me."

He grew still, holding her in a silence so profound she wondered if he had fallen into a trance. But he wasn't frozen; he was a man holding back a flood.

[Black] "Ever since I arrived in Nauk, I have been haunted by one thought: that I was too late."

He spoke slowly, his voice thick with emotion.

[Black] "That I should have come sooner. That I should have known sooner. That I never truly wanted to lose anything to begin with."

[Liene] "You... did?"

She felt her heart splinter. She knew exactly what he meant, even if he didn't realize she knew.

She pressed herself closer into his chest, trying to fill the gaps between them.

[Black] "I thought if I had come earlier, you wouldn't have had room in your heart for anyone else. I thought I would have had to endure less of your resistance. I thought about that every single day."

[Liene] "But I... there was never anyone else..."

[Black] "I can hardly believe it. To think that, in truth, I never lost anything at all."

Liene looked up at him.

What is he saying? You lost everything.

You lost your kingdom, your name, your family.

You were cast out into the cold.

[Black] "You were always mine."

He wasn't talking about a crown. He was talking about her.

Black leaned down and pressed a kiss to her chest, right over her heart. It wasn't an act of seduction; it was a sacred vow upon her heart.

[Black] "I will not forget. And I will never lose you again."

[Black] "Never."

Liene held her breath until he finished.

For the first time, she understood that a heart could beat with a sound like thunder.

I was right to stay silent, she thought.

Call it greed or whatever you like—I will protect this.

I will never take anything from this man again.

When he finally pulled back, it was Liene who reached for him.

The kiss she had promised to delay until tomorrow began right then, and neither of them left the room until the sun was high in the sky, leaving the rest of the castle to wonder in silence.

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