Acidity of Regret Ch 106
- Feb 23
- 6 min read
The sight of her reacting so vividly—so full of life—finally began to dissolve the dread that had clung to him like a second skin.
How terrifying it had been just moments ago, pulling her from the crushing depths.
The sight of her pale face, her chest still and silent, had plunged him into a personal hell. If only he had been faster. If only he had hurried……
Though her fall wasn't his fault this time, Declan felt her mortality so acutely that every misfortune seemed to be his own failure.
Please. Please.
He recalled a similar desperation from long ago—the sight of her withering away while he struggled, too late, to catch her.
Mercifully, this time was different. Vanessa had returned to him quickly.
When her hacking coughs announced her survival, proving her heart still beat, he offered a prayer of gratitude to a God he had never believed in.
In that moment, it was not Vanessa who had been resurrected, but Declan himself.
He noticed the crimson flush on her cheeks, painted there by the biting frost. With his functional right hand, he retrieved the fallen blanket and draped it over her shoulders.
Vanessa hesitated for a heartbeat before refocusing on his bandages. Yet, her attention had long since gravitated toward him, drawn by the gravity of their shared isolation.
In this precarious silence, where rescue remained a distant hope, their shared breath was the only comfort left.
She listened to his shallow breath before finally breaking the quiet.
[Vanessa] "That claim about just 'passing through' this area......"
[Declan] "......"
[Vanessa] "It was a lie, wasn't it?"
He stared at her, caught off guard.
She kept her eyes on the linen wraps, refusing to meet his gaze. Her calm demeanor, however, felt like a thunderous command to speak the truth.
[Declan] "......Yes."
[Vanessa] "Have you been here the whole time? Since when?"
[Declan] "About a year ago."
[Vanessa] "Honestly?"
[Declan] "...Actually, it has been closer to two years."
She finished the knot and pulled her hands back, looking him square in the eyes. Even in the gloom of the cavern, her emerald eyes held a brilliance that pierced straight to his core.
Beneath that clear, discerning stare, he found he lacked the strength to hide.
[Declan] "Fine. It has been three years."
His voice sounded like a confession, a stripping away of masks. He no longer wished to offer her anything but the raw, unvarnished truth.
[Vanessa] "......And yet you said you wouldn't come looking for me."
[Declan] "I was a fool."
He covered his eyes with his bandaged left hand, his self-loathing palpable.
[Declan] "I thought about it a thousand times. If I was going to be this pathetic, I should have just begged you one more time."
[Vanessa] "......"
[Declan] "But I feared that if I approached you again, you would... because of me......"
His gaze fell, heavy with a terror she could barely fathom.
He cut himself off abruptly, as if finishing the sentence might summon the very tragedy he feared into reality.
The air grew heavy following his admission. Their complicated history created a prickly, uncomfortable tension—at least for her.
[Vanessa] "......When do you think they will come for us?"
It was a thinly veiled plea to end their solitude. He read the subtext perfectly; he hid a bitter smile and adjusted her blanket again.
[Declan] "My men saw us go over the cliff. It won't be long now. We have to hold on."
[Vanessa] "I told you I don't need this. You should—"
As she tried to shrug off the blanket he was so desperate to keep on her, he stopped her with sudden, rare firmness.
[Declan] "It doesn't matter if I am cold."
[Vanessa] "......"
[Declan] "But I won't let you suffer."
She looked at him—at the way he held her wrist with careful gentleness—and the words slipped out before she could stop them.
[Vanessa] "......You, who caused me so much pain?"
Do you really have the right to say that?
For a brief moment, the same memory flickered between them. Despite the years that had passed, the recollection remained vivid, though it carried a different weight for each.
She felt his entire body recoil at her gaze. His eyelids trembled as if in a spasm before his head dropped forward.
[Declan] "I know."
[Vanessa] "......"
[Declan] "That is why I am doing this. To try... to do better, even now."
[Vanessa] "......"
[Declan] "It is miserable, knowing this is all I can offer you."
Her throat tightened at the sight of his hands tucking the blanket around her so tightly that not a single draft could enter.
She swallowed hard and averted her eyes, only to see his own shirt—stiff and frozen with salt water.
They were both half-drowned rats. Moreover, he was in this state solely because he had tried to save her. Even if she wanted to turn away, the situation forced them together in a way she couldn't ignore.
She firmly pushed his hand back. His expression crumpled at her persistence.
Just as he opened his mouth to plead again, she moved closer to him and spread the blanket wide.
[Vanessa] "We will share it, then."
[Declan] "......"
[Vanessa] "I have no desire to freeze to death, nor do I want to watch my companion do the same."
She didn't want to be left alone in this haunting cave, shivering in the dark. And frankly, she wasn't sure her pride would sustain her through the night if she tried to survive on her own.
[Vanessa] "Hurry."
He reached out with a trembling hand. This time, he did not refuse.
The blanket was fortunately large enough for two. They sat side-by-side on the straw, their backs against the cold stone wall.
[Vanessa] "......"
[Declan] "......"
The conversation died instantly. They weren't the type to share pleasantries; even silence between them felt awkward and strained. They shared that thin, icy quiet for a long time.
Eventually, Vanessa lost the energy even to feel uncomfortable. The cold was numbing every nerve. The damp air didn't hold a hint of warmth; instead, it pushed deeper into her body. Her fingers grew too stiff to bend. She felt she was standing on the very threshold of death.
They say that when the cold becomes absolute, one can no longer distinguish it from heat. She felt exactly that. A bizarre, dangerous impulse to tear off her clothes and escape the "heat" began to take root in her mind.
[Declan] "Vanessa."
A hand cupped her cheek—the only source of warmth in the entire cavern. She blinked, her blurred vision slowly snapping back into focus.
[Declan] "Stay with me. Your face is......"
He frantically touched her cheeks and the side of her neck. Ordinarily, she would have slapped him away, but with the frost ruling her senses, she felt only a hazy lethargy.
[Declan] "This won't work. Take off your clothes."
[Vanessa] "......What?"
The words shocked her brain back to life. She glared at him with a look of utter contempt, but he gestured toward her collar, avoiding her eyes.
[Declan] "Your clothes are soaked. If you keep wearing them, hypothermia will take you."
[Vanessa] "But... I'll be cold even if I take them off."
[Declan] "......Listen to me, and please, do not misunderstand."
He seemed so tense that his throat bobbed several times as he swallowed. She prompted him with a sharp look.
[Declan] "In a situation like this... human body heat is the most effective warmth."
[Vanessa] "......"
[Declan] "So......"
She blinked slowly, the meaning finally sinking in. The wariness returned to her freezing eyes.
[Vanessa] "You mean... we should hold each other?"
And not just hold each other. Without clothes.
He spoke quickly, his words a frantic defense.
[Declan] "We don't know when help will arrive. We must maintain our core temperature. Staying in those wet clothes is a death sentence."
She stared at him, unable to mask her shock. But the shock was short-lived as the cold seeped back in, freezing her thoughts. It felt like the breath of death disguised as a draft.
[Vanessa] "I......"
She bit her lip and looked toward the cave entrance.
Awfully, the view hadn't changed at all. The dawn was deepening, rescue was uncertain, and the temperature had plummeted so far it made her skin sting.
Her clothes wouldn't dry for hours. Bitter as it was, he was right—body heat was their only resource.
[Declan] "I won't misunderstand."
He pleaded with her, his eyes full of worry for her safety rather than any ulterior motive.
After a long silence, she slowly turned her head.
[Vanessa] "......Of course you won't."
[Declan] "......"
[Vanessa] "This is... only because it is an emergency."
It was her consent. Her terror of the looming death outweighed her pride. As she realized this, she felt a second shock.
Declan or Death.
Once, she would have chosen the latter without hesitation just to escape him. Now, she found herself wanting to live, even if it meant being with him.
In the river of time, she thought nothing had changed regarding her feelings for him, but perhaps something had healed in the shadows.
[Vanessa] "......You first."
He moved quickly, terrified she might change her mind. However, his left hand was hindered by the bandages, and his right was stiff with frost. He couldn't even manage a single button.
[Vanessa] "Sigh."
Watching him fumble, she sighed and brought her hands to her mouth. She blew on her fingers to thaw them before reaching for his chest. Declan flinched at her touch.
[Vanessa] "Don't...... misunderstand."
[Declan] "I won't. I never will."
He pulled his hands away immediately, surrendering himself to her touch.
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