Acidity of Regret Ch 120
- Mar 2
- 7 min read
Declan listened to her calm confession, then dropped his head. Resting his forehead against her lap, he released a heavy sigh masquerading as a murmur.
[Declan] "But, Vanessa. You know how anxious I get. It's selfish, I know, but a single day without seeing you......"
He had driven her into an abyss deeper than any chasm and a hell worse than the underworld itself, ultimately pushing her toward death.
Yet, paradoxically, that very past now formed a suffocating snare around his own throat. The sins of his selfish greed, the sacrifice of her life, ultimately returned to crush him. Absolute karma.
[Vanessa] "I know, but what if I tell you to stop visiting me?"
Pure despair washed over his face. Yet he understood he possessed no right to demand anything of her.
[Declan] "......Understood."
He had only one possible answer to give.
She needed that response. If he yielded to her boundaries even after she dangled forgiveness as the ultimate prize, then she had a message for him.
[Vanessa] "......Instead, will you send me letters?"
She wrapped her fingers around the back of his head. Her touch slid downward, resting against his bandaged nape.
[Vanessa] "Send a letter through your subordinates, and I will accept it myself. Then you can confirm my safety."
[Declan] "……."
[Vanessa] "And Declan, promise me one thing too."
He dragged the sharp bridge of his nose against her lap. He kept his lips sealed, yet she understood his silent compliance.
Acknowledging his unconditional surrender, she stroked the bandages as though applying a soothing balm.
[Vanessa] "Accept your treatments. Stop refusing them."
[Declan] "……."
[Vanessa] "I plan to leave the past behind us, so you must put in the effort too. Don't suffer in silence like a fool, believing this is some righteous punishment you must bear."
[Declan] "……."
[Vanessa] "That isn't a penance. It's just pain. They are only wounds requiring care."
Wounds require no profound meaning. They only demand ointment and time to heal the aching flesh.
Just as she resolved to shed the heavy past, she hoped he would stop dragging his feet through life, anchored by his fatal mistakes.
[Vanessa] "Will you promise me?"
A gentle grip tightened around her wrist. Declan kept his head bowed, pressing his lips against her palm.
Damp warmth soon spread across her skin. His shoulders trembled with shallow breaths. Whenever he bared his raw emotions, he lost all ability to hold back his tears.
His uncontrollable sobs carried no manipulative pleas or desperate begging this time. The sheer hope of finally earning her forgiveness overwhelmed him. A single ray of sunlight pierced through his ruined, desolate soul.
She offered him her hand and gazed out the window.
[Vanessa] "Spring will come soon."
The ruthless ice would finally melt, bone-dry trees would drink in the moisture, and the frigid air would soon soften. Winters in Evarn County usually passed swiftly, yet this particular season had dragged on for an eternity.
Regardless of the agonizing wait, spring always returned. A warm spring, bursting with blooming flowers and vibrant greenery.
The sky stretched out in an exceptionally brilliant blue.
She once wept violently under a sky just like this. Back then, the arrival of tomorrow terrified her. Now, she faced the dawn without a single ounce of fear.
Within the seemingly stagnant routine, countless unseen transformations had already taken root.
[Dina] "My lady, the preparations are complete. You should head down now."
She nodded at Dina's affectionate urging.
[Dina] "How is the dress? Are you cold?"
[Vanessa] "Yes, of course."
[Dina] "Are you alright?"
Their bond remained unbroken. Vanessa watched Dina step forward and fasten the thick cape around her shoulders.
The maid offered no commentary on Vanessa's uncharacteristic behavior from the previous days. On the day of her return, Dina had waited anxiously at the mansion gates and asked only a single question.
"Are you alright?"
Vanessa had simply nodded. After studying her face for a brief second, Dina mirrored the gesture.
The entire ordeal concluded with that silent exchange.
She left Dina to inspect the bedroom for forgotten items and stepped onto the terrace. A lingering chill in the wind swept across her skin. She turned her head and froze, her gaze landing on an object neatly positioned in the corner.
[Vanessa] "Dina."
[Dina] "Yes, my lady."
A complex emotion washed over her face as she lifted the bouquet of roses.
[Vanessa] "These... haven't wilted?"
[Dina] "Ah, I meant to tell you. Upon closer inspection, those aren't real flowers. They are artificial."
She spoke with complete nonchalance.
Artificial?
Vanessa examined the vibrant, lifelike petals and pressed them against her nose. The fragrance she caught previously must have been manufactured; now, the blooms yielded no scent at all.
Despite the lack of fragrance, the immaculate shape and brilliant hues remained perfect. She suddenly wondered what represented his heart more accurately: these undying petals, or the dazzling gold dust that painted her vision.
[Dina] "What should we do with that bouquet? Should we leave it?"
Even as she asked, Dina's eyes screamed that abandoning the arrangement would be a massive waste.
She stared at the extravagant blooms, then shook her head.
[Vanessa] "Bring them along. Pack them carefully."
[Dina] "Understood."
Descending to the first floor, she shared a warm embrace with the former Count Evarn before boarding the carriage.
[Count] "You are finally returning to the capital, Vanessa."
She offered her father an affirmative smile from across the cabin.
The carriage jolted into motion. Vanessa drew back the curtains to gaze at the passing landscape. She wanted one final look at the unchanging coastline that had accompanied her through the years.
She observed the sprawling scenery until the carriage slammed to a sudden halt. The slow pace prevented any dangerous falls, but the violent jolt threw them forward.
[Count] "What happened?"
Distant murmurs drifted through the air. Concerned about a potential accident, the Count threw open the door and stepped out.
With her father investigating the delay, she remained in her seat. However, the approaching commotion fueled her curiosity.
[Vanessa] "Father? Is something wrong?"
Unable to resist any longer, she moved to exit the carriage—but a figure materialized in the doorway, blocking her path.
[Declan] "……."
Her wide, shocked eyes slowly relaxed as Declan extended his arm into the cabin. He clasped her resting hand and pressed his lips against her knuckles.
[Declan] "Safe......"
A soft kiss broke the silence. His heavy breath washed over her skin.
[Declan] "Travel safely."
His desperate dash to the carriage laid his entire heart bare.
Her forgiveness remained an agonizing uncertainty for him. A single rejection would render this encounter their absolute last.
A permanent farewell. That suffocating panic had driven him to race here.
Declan loosened his grip, relinquishing her hand as though surrendering a sacred treasure.
When he turned around, the raw vulnerability he had shown her vanished without a trace. The formidable Grand Duke returned in an instant. He offered Count Rohawk a curt nod and stepped back.
Her father climbed back inside, securing the door before the carriage resumed its journey.
This marked countless farewells between them. Yet, both understood the profound shift in this particular departure.
Her return to the capital thrust her into absolute chaos.
The mansion's servants practically swarmed her with tearful reunions. Simultaneously, a tidal wave of delayed social invitations flooded her desk.
She spent hours laughing at Elliot, who had blinked back undeniable tears upon her arrival. Her relentless teasing left him stubbornly pouting for days.
She outright rejected every invitation. The noble society’s blatant desperation to pry into her shattered royal engagement from three years ago disgusted her.
As she managed the chaotic estate, the spring weather that had already conquered the Evarn territory finally graced the capital. The delayed season had at last found its rhythm.
[Vanessa] "A guest?"
Exactly one month after her return, a maid delivered news of an unexpected visitor.
Guided by Dina, she entered the drawing room. A familiar silhouette froze her in her tracks.
[Vanessa] "Sophie......?"
The guest sat rigid with nerves, clumsily scrambling to her feet at the voice. The familiar face confirmed her suspicion, stealing the breath from her lungs.
[Sophie] "Greetings, my lady."
[Vanessa] "How did you get here?"
[Sophie] "I stopped by the capital on the Grand Duke's orders."
Vanessa glanced at the neat luggage resting beside the maid. The hastily packed bag paired perfectly with Sophie's bewildered expression.
[Vanessa] "Orders? Did something terrible happen?"
[Sophie] "Oh, no! I received a crucial assignment! It shocked me when His Grace singled me out among all the staff, but he provided an incredibly generous reward."
Sophie's attire appeared impeccably tailored. Her bright, comfortable smile chased away Vanessa's lingering anxiety.
Still requiring answers, she offered a reassuring smile of her own.
[Vanessa] "That is a relief. Welcome, Sophie. Tell me, what is this crucial assignment?"
Sophie hesitated. Remembering Carter's explicit instructions to answer all of the lady's questions without hesitation, she finally spoke.
[Sophie] "I am here to request a specialized prayer from the High Priest of the capital. The Grand Duke could not travel, so he commanded me to offer the blessing in his stead."
A specific memory pierced through her mind at those words.
[Declan] "I will pray to the gods every single day. I will ask for blessings so they never suffer or feel pain again. I will never forget my child."
[Vanessa] "Ah......"
A blessing before the gods. A prayer for the child they had lost to the heavens.
Perhaps it was a coincidence. Yet, an undeniable instinct told her this exact tragedy had brought Sophie to the capital.
Sophie's excited rambling continued.
[Sophie] "The Duchy has temples, of course, but an audience with the capital's High Priest? I thought I would never meet him in my lifetime. The person receiving these prayers must be incredibly precious. I doubt a mere maid like me is worthy, but I plan to offer my utmost devotion."
[Vanessa] "...Yes, I believe your prayers are the perfect choice. You possess such a gentle heart."
She was the only person who had cherished a child she never even met.
Declan had once wielded Sophie as a weapon to exploit her weaknesses. Sending the maid here now proved his radical transformation. He fought fiercely to change.
[Vanessa] "Then... I expect to see you often. Whenever you visit the capital, please stop by."
She no longer scoffed at his desperate efforts, nor did she recoil in disgust.
She accepted them in silence. His devotion to their child, his vow to never forget, and his agonizing atonement for the life extinguished by his fatal mistakes.
[Sophie] "Thank you, my lady. I will absolutely visit. Actually, I have this......"
She bowed politely before opening her luggage to extract a small item.
[Sophie] "I received strict orders to deliver these to you whenever I visit the capital."
She extended a letter sealed with a crimson rose wax stamp.
The blood-red wax popped violently against the pristine ivory envelope.
Such vibrant crimson blooms once symbolized her obsessive love for him. Now, the roles had entirely reversed. He stood helpless, suffocating under the overwhelming weight of his love for her.
His unwavering devotion had officially arrived alongside his very first letter.
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