Acidity of Regret Ch 13
- Dec 15, 2025
- 8 min read
Updated: Dec 16, 2025
His gaze was profound. He watched her for a long time with eyes that evoked the image of a damp, murky swamp.
Only when a sheen of cold sweat began to trickle down Vanessa’s spine did he finally withdraw his look.
From the moment they cleared the tea table, boarded the carriage, and returned to the Grand Duke’s castle, he said nothing. It wasn't until her anticipation had shriveled into timid anxiety that he finally broke his silence.
[Declan] "Alright, I understand."
[Vanessa] "Pardon?"
[Declan] "I said I will look into it."
Her eyes widened until they looked ready to roll out of her head.
Frankly, she had thrown out the request with the mindset that things couldn't possibly get any worse. Even if he had refused, she wouldn't have been offended.
She would have been disappointed, sure, but that was her problem. She was already indebted to him; she had no right to demand anything just because he didn't comply.
Yet, Declan was kind once again. He said he would grant her wish.
Her chest churned. It wasn't nausea, but something else entirely. It was as if her heart had filled to the brim with sweet nectar, sloshing and rippling with his every move. It was as if Declan were puppeteering her very heart.
[Vanessa] "Thank you."
She awkwardly rubbed her chest. Anything unfamiliar is bound to provoke resistance, but this sensation was wholly welcome.
She had been ignorant of the love everyone in the world seemed to share. She had encountered it in books, paintings, and even serenades, but she could never grasp the density of that emotion.
But now, she thought she finally understood.
Why the verses written with a beloved in mind were so poignant, why the paintings were so beautiful, and why the serenades were so sweet.
Love approached her as something more colorful, radiant, and precious than any emotion she had ever experienced in her life.
After dining with Declan, she took a quick bath. When she returned to the guest room—not his bedroom—the maids were busy cleaning, even though there was barely a trace of use.
She sat blankly on the couch. Since arriving here, the time she spent lost in a trance had increased significantly. Unlike her vacant expression, her insides were quite chaotic.
She methodically organized the conversations she had shared with him by the lake earlier that day.
The confiscation of the Rohawk family title, the marriage proposal with the Crown Prince that almost proceeded, and the existence of Elliot, whom she recalled while asking about the informant.
Where did he go?
The afterimage of the knight who always stood by her father’s side, watching over her, flashed through her mind.
Both Count Rohawk and she had trusted Elliot implicitly. Because he served the family with his whole heart. He was a man of few words, but his loyalty was conveyed delicately through his eyes, his actions, and the way he looked at them.
That day. What happened while I was asleep?
The dawn she had fallen asleep, dismissing the previous night's nightmare as groundless worry. Before the head maid came rushing to wake her, something must have happened.
At the time, her father’s face, as he knelt bound in the hall, was covered in wounds. What kind of turmoil had erupted in that place full of martial prowess?
Vanessa felt like hitting her own head. She shouldn't have slept while clutching such anxiety. If she had known it would turn out like this, she should have stayed awake through the dawn no matter what.
It was a useless regret now that time had passed.
Should I ask him to look for Elliot, too?
Unconsciously, she began to bite her nails again out of habit. The thought that she was being too shameless was naturally followed by resignation.
As a blood relative who had branched off from the Imperial Family, Declan could easily ignore her request.
It was absurd for him, a collateral royal, to help the daughter of a family branded with treason, whether it was fact or false accusation. Yet, he had willingly accepted her request, so she had to know when to step back.
He was a man of broad generosity, and she felt like a greedy person who didn't know how to save face.
Vanessa buried her face in her hands.
At some point, her thoughts kept spiraling toward self-deprecation. As if her current position was undeserved, she was repeatedly dragged down to the bottom.
The contempt she had heard directed at her before coming here rang endlessly in her ears like an auditory hallucination. The sarcasm asking if she still thought she was a noble Count’s daughter struck her heart painfully.
[Vanessa] "..."
Suddenly, she lifted her face at a creeping chill running down her spine. Turning her head slowly, she saw the maids cleaning with their usual expressionless faces.
What was that? I just felt a very blatant gaze.
It must be a mistake. Aren't they all quietly doing their jobs?
She shook her head, soothing herself by thinking she had become too sensitive due to recent events.
But the moment she returned to her original posture, a prickly gaze landed on her back again.
She looked around a total of two times. But she couldn't find a single trace of anything ominous from the servants. She felt like she was the only one trapped in a delusion.
Suddenly, this place became incredibly uncomfortable, and she curled her toes. It felt as if thorns were poised around her skin, ready to tear into her flesh with the slightest movement.
It was a sudden knock that saved her from that state.
A maid standing near the door scurried over and opened the heavy panels.
Declan stood there, still dressed in his formal uniform despite the late hour. Only then did she break out of her frozen state and jump up from the couch.
[Declan] "A moment."
As he murmured briefly and waved his hand, the maids in the bedroom organized the space in perfect order and exited.
The door closed, and silence settled in. Only when she was alone with him could she breathe. It was like a fish dragged onto land, finally returning to the sea.
[Vanessa] "What brings you here?"
She asked because she didn't know why he had come all this way when she would see him in his bedroom soon anyway.
Above all, seeing him maintaining his impeccable appearance despite the late hour made her anxious for no reason.
[Declan] "Something has come up, and I think I'll have to leave the castle for a while."
Considering that heads of households were generally busy, it wasn't surprising news.
Furthermore, he wasn't just any head of a household, but the sole monarch ruling this vast land. There must be many places to look after.
Even so, her heart sank as if she had heard a bolt from the blue.
[Vanessa] "For how long?"
[Declan] "Ten days. Two weeks at the longest."
[Vanessa] "...Are you leaving now?"
[Declan] "Yes."
Then I have to sleep alone tonight.
As soon as that judgment was made, the nightmare surfaced again, crushing her brain with a creepy sensation. Her shoulders shrank of their own accord.
[Declan] "You can stay in my bedroom while I'm gone. Just in case, I told the attending physician to prepare sleeping pills, so call him if you have another nightmare."
[Vanessa] "Yes."
But she couldn't show fear in front of him, whose eyes were clearly full of concern. She pulled up the corners of her mouth, yearning to look natural.
[Declan] "Also, if you get bored, you can use the library."
[Vanessa] "The library?"
[Declan] "Yes. If you ask the butler, he will tell you the location."
He added it as if he knew she was letting time slip by idly.
His delicate favor rubbed gently against her heart.
She nodded. Declan stroked her hair, then carefully tilted his head.
It wasn't until his breath tickled her lips that the impression bloomed that it had been quite a while since their last kiss.
It was a chaste kiss.
His face, as he lightly pressed his lips to hers and then pulled away, was serious.
She unconsciously grabbed his sleeve.
[Vanessa] "...Quickly."
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "Please come back."
Actually, the words I think I'll miss you rose to the tip of her throat. It filled her vocal cords enough that if someone tapped her on the back, she would have spat it out exactly as it was without exaggeration.
But fearing it might burden him, she had no choice but to swallow it down. It was a phrase she had carefully selected and offered in its place.
Instead of answering that he would, or that it would be difficult, he kissed her once more and left the bedroom.
It was absurd how much she already missed his warmth as it receded. She looked down at her empty palms and let out a hollow chuckle. She immediately turned and stepped out onto the terrace.
She stood there for a long time, sweeping back her golden hair that fluttered in the biting wind.
With the sound of hooves, she saw the Grand Duke and his party driving their horses rapidly toward the castle gates.
Her gaze fixed on the man at the lead. Amidst the surroundings dyed in pitch black as the moon was hidden, his heavy silhouette alone was clearly visible.
She expected him to look back at least once, but he galloped forward aloofly. His somewhat cold attitude made it hard to believe he was the same person she had faced in the bedroom just moments ago.
Even though he had kissed her without hesitation and spoken so sweetly when he was right in front of her. She felt a pang of resentment for no reason.
She only turned away when Declan’s party was completely out of sight.
Around the dead of night, when the only sign of life in the hallway was the light of the lamps, she left her room.
Even though she had sought the owner's permission, her steps were cautious, as if she were invading secretly.
Quietly entering his room, she lay her body on the bed that was now more familiar than the one in the Count’s estate.
The pillow smelled of him. A scent reminiscent of pine trees in deep winter, laden with white snow. The quiet yet profound feeling exuding from it was something she experienced identically in this castle and on this land.
It was distinctly different from the capital or the Count’s estate, which generally maintained a white-toned and bright atmosphere.
However, this silence was not as uncomfortable as before.
While staying in the Grand Duke’s castle for a long time, Vanessa, who had been as out of place as oil in water, also seemed to be gradually assimilating into this place.
Declan was gone, but his scent remained, filling her lungs to the brim.
She closed her eyes softly with the rushing drowsiness.
The start of a day without Declan brought a strange feeling. It was as if she had become a ruffian who had arbitrarily taken over a castle without its master.
He was always busy, but he usually stayed in the castle. The difference between him being within distance to see whenever she decided to, and him not being there at all, was significant.
The day in the castle without him flowed without any problems.
As if accustomed to Declan vacating his seat, the servants spent their daily lives no differently than usual. Amidst them, only Vanessa floated, killing innocent time.
It was that evening when she perceived the uncomfortable current surrounding her.
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