Acidity of Regret Ch 17
- Dec 16, 2025
- 7 min read
Vanessa found herself sitting up, facing him. Her hand was held in a grip so unyielding it seemed he never intended to let go.
[Vanessa] "My hand... it hurts."
His grip was quite strong, causing her brow to furrow.
Declan immediately relaxed his hold, leaning his upper body forward to press his lips against the back of her hand. The movement was fluid, akin to a dance step.
[Declan] "I missed you."
With a soft, moist sound of friction, he buried his lips against her skin and whispered low.
Vanessa had been drowning in deep anxiety while waiting for him, having crashed into the cold wall of reality during his absence.
What if, she had worried, he returns and treats me coldly, just like the servants?
She had learned painfully over the last few days how easily attitudes could flip like a palm.
Her worries proved groundless; Declan remained constant.
Yet, she couldn't distinguish whether that was fortunate or tragic, and tears pricked her eyes.
The affection she would have once swallowed sweetly was now sweet, yet bitter.
[Vanessa] "Me too."
She lowered her head to hide her burning, reddened eyes and whispered in a voice that barely crawled out of her throat.
[Vanessa] "I... missed you, too."
Having barely scraped together her fallen pride, her voice sounded truly pathetic.
She headed to the dining hall on the first floor with Declan.
Vanessa couldn't recall with what mind she endured dinner. She was busier scanning the gazes of the serving staff than putting food in her mouth.
She shrank inwardly, fearing they were gossiping about her lack of tact again.
The voices of the maids who had stood in the hallway, cackling and mocking her, rang in her ears like a phantom echo.
She had anticipated this would be uncomfortable. However, Vanessa had a reason for agreeing to dine with him. She needed to actualize a decision she had reached after days of waiting for Declan.
[Vanessa] "Your Grace."
She felt bloated despite having eaten very little. More than half the meat remained on her plate, but she set down her knife and fork and wiped her mouth.
Declan, dining at the head of the table, cast a glance her way.
[Vanessa] "Do you happen to have time tomorrow?"
[Declan] "Why do you ask?"
[Vanessa] "The lake we went to last time... I’d like to visit it again."
The beautiful scenery from back then. The peace that had naturally settled over her mind and body. She wanted to be surrounded by that landscape to carry out what she had resolved to do.
To be honest, she wanted to escape this castle where prying eyes followed her everywhere.
Vanessa clasped her hands together on her lap with a nervous heart.
What if he says no?
She was endlessly anxious while waiting for his response.
Declan looked mildly surprised, but then nodded coolly, making her anxiety seem foolish.
[Declan] "Is the time convenient for you?"
[Declan] "I only need to adjust my schedule."
She had worried she might seem like a child throwing a tantrum. Of course, Declan might have thought so inwardly, but outwardly, he showed no sign of it.
His attitude—willing to adjust even a piled-up workload—quickly soothed her unsettled heart.
[Declan] "On one condition."
Suddenly, his finger intruded into her field of vision. His knuckled finger tapped rhythmically on the edge of her plate.
[Declan] "I'll grant it if you finish this."
[Vanessa] "Ah..."
[Declan] "There is too much left."
His brow furrowed in disapproval. Knowing this attitude stemmed from concern for her, she actually felt her mood lift.
Since he was caring for her, her nonexistent appetite seemed to return, so she picked up her knife and fork again. It was the same food, yet it tasted different than before.
She hoped, fervently, that the weather tomorrow would be clear.
As if to briefly console her life, which had been only gloomy for the past few days, the weather the next day was fortunately pristine.
Vanessa, wearing a robe with the hood up, looked up at the sun-drenched sky, then lowered her gaze at the sound of a whinny.
Declan approached, holding the reins of a black horse that was larger than her own body frame.
[Declan] "Are you sure you don't want to take the carriage?"
He asked while stroking the mane of the black horse, which stamped its feet as if ready to bolt at any moment.
Vanessa nodded.
Last time they went to the lake, they took a carriage, but today she intended to ride the horse he guided. This, too, was her request.
Taking a carriage usually meant an excessive number of attendants would tag along.
Today, she wanted her trip to the forest lake to be just the two of them. She didn't want the words she intended to say to reach any ears other than Declan’s.
Of course, she hadn't planned to ride a horse from the start. Vanessa had pondered all night but couldn't find a way to the lake without a carriage.
Eventually, when morning came, and she confessed this to him, he offered the solution as if it were trivial: 'We can just ride a horse.'
[Vanessa] "But I... I'm not very good at riding."
She wasn't devoid of riding experience, but it was a hobby she had abandoned because she never quite got used to it. It felt like ages since she had last ridden a horse alone.
He didn't answer; instead, he carefully adjusted her hood so it wouldn't fall off, then grabbed her waist and lifted her onto the saddle. With efficient, fluid movements, he mounted the horse behind her.
Her precarious posture, with feet dangling above the ground, stabilized quickly as he settled behind her. With a massive wall at her back, she felt she wouldn't fall no matter how harsh the wind blew.
[Declan] "Shall we?"
Pulling the reins taut, he asked, leaning in close to her ear. Vanessa flinched, feeling his hot breath graze her skin despite the hood covering her.
[Declan] "If you feel like you're falling, lean on me."
With that brief instruction, he kicked the horse's flanks.
The gentle breeze transformed into a gale as they picked up speed, rushing past the two of them.
At a speed so fast she couldn't even keep her eyes properly open, she clutched his forearm like a lifeline. A faint chuckle reached her from over her shoulder.
Unlike a carriage, which would slow down upon entering a dense forest, the horse surged forward nimbly, like a fish meeting water. The rhythmic thundering of hooves followed continuously.
After riding for quite some time, they finally reached the lakeside.
Declan dismounted first and lightly lifted Vanessa down to the ground. While he tied the reins firmly to a nearby tree, she approached the lake.
The lake remained unchanged since their last visit. Drinking in the sunlight, the surface shimmered in brilliant silver, like fish scales.
Vanessa involuntarily raised a hand to shield her eyes. The water, mirroring the sky, was so dazzling it was like looking directly at the sun.
Slowly heading to the bank, she crouched down. The water forming the lake was clear and pristine, as if it had never known pollution.
She dipped her hand in. The gently flowing ripples brushed her skin softly. It was so transparent that her hand submerged in the water was perfectly visible.
[Declan] "Vanessa."
A wind blew alongside the low voice calling her.
Simultaneously, as she turned her head, her hood slipped off, and her lustrous golden hair cascaded down.
Declan, who had been approaching without hesitation, stopped in his tracks at that exact moment. She swayed slightly, tucking the hair that obscured her vision behind her ear.
He stood entranced, as if he had lost his soul. His eyes, deep as the ocean abyss, held only her. She tilted her head, puzzled, watching him stand there transfixed.
He snapped out of it only at the sound of the black horse whinnying behind him.
Awakening as if hearing thunder, he took a step forward, wearing a self-deprecating smirk at his own absurdity.
Soon, Declan arrived right beside her. Looking down at her crouching form, he began to take off his formal military coat.
[Declan] "It's dirty there. Sit on this."
Vanessa, startled by his action of laying his coat beneath her, waved her hands in refusal. However, he grabbed her arm and forced her to sit. Consequently, she ended up sitting on his clothes.
[Vanessa] "But Your Grace's clothes will get dirty..."
[Declan] "Clothes can just be washed."
That applied to her clothes as well. But she liked the way he cared for her, so instead of refusing further, she invited him to sit beside her. He complied obediently.
Declan smirked upon seeing her hand, damp from being dipped in the water.
[Declan] "Like a child."
Understanding what he meant, she smiled shyly.
Casting her gaze over the panoramic view of the wide lake, she murmured as if speaking to herself.
[Vanessa] "When I was young, before my mother fell ill, my family used to go to the lake often. The Ingzella Empire has many beautiful forests, you know. Back then, I would rush in whenever I saw water, but my father would stop me, saying the depth might be dangerous. So, I always had to settle for just dipping my hands or feet."
As she spoke, memories more beautiful than the scenery before her rushed back.
Her mother, radiant before illness deepened; her affectionate father, always smiling with his eyes. Those memories, now impossible to see again, were treasures to her.
Comparing that time to the blood-stained dawn at the Count’s manor made her feel infinitely melancholy. Her mood plummeted in an instant.
She felt his gaze fixed on her profile, but she stubbornly looked only ahead. If she turned her head now, he would surely catch her depression.
Suddenly, a hand intruded into her vision. Vanessa stiffened in surprise as his hand wrapped around her ankle.
[Vanessa] "Y-Your Grace?"
With a natural touch, he removed the shoe she was wearing.
Suddenly barefoot, Vanessa clutched her bunched-up skirt and rolled her eyes. Realizing his intent before long, she quietly extended her foot and slid her white skin into the water.
[Vanessa] "It's refreshing."
She splashed playfully and smiled brightly. She felt like she had returned to her childhood. The same freshness she experienced back then seeped through her toes, moistening her stifled heart.
[Vanessa] "Your Grace should also try..."
Just as she was about to urge him to dip his feet if he liked, Declan pressed his lips upon hers. Her shoulders flinched at the unexpected, thick contact.
Into her breathless mouth, he exhaled a hook of breath. At the ticklish sensation, her toes, submerged in the water, curled inward.
Declan lightly bit her lower lip before carefully pulling away. His dark blue eyes were visible right before her nose.
[Declan] "How long will you keep calling me 'Your Grace'?"
His lips, curling up languidly, were more beautiful than the sunlight encompassing the entire landscape.
[Declan] "Vanessa."
As if rebuking her for using only stiff titles, he tentatively held her name in his mouth.
She swallowed hard involuntarily. Her heart, which acted irrationally whenever she looked at him, began to race wildly on its own accord again.
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