Acidity of Regret Ch 20
- Dec 20, 2025
- 8 min read
Carter stared blankly at Vanessa.
Her emerald eyes, which had looked devoid of vitality earlier, now glistened with a sharp clarity for the first time.
Looking closer, he noticed her knuckles were bleached white from the force of her grip on the book she was hugging. Perhaps that was why, despite her healthy complexion, she appeared pale.
He felt a pang of guilt for making her wait like that.
So, Carter racked his brain quickly.
Did he order an investigation regarding the Rohawk Countdom? Why would she ask such a thing?
Caught in this untimely dilemma, he soon formed a hypothesis.
Is Vanessa Rohawk anxious? Worried that her ruined family’s status might hinder her marriage to the Grand Duke?
If that were the case...
[Carter] "No. He did not order anything of the sort."
Carter answered concisely, feeling a swell of pride in himself. He secretly patted himself on the back for being so perceptive, unlike his usual self.
If his answer could quell her anxiety toward the Grand Duke, and if their marriage proceeded smoothly, it would be a satisfactory conclusion for everyone.
On the other hand, Vanessa, who had been harboring thoughts completely different from Carter’s speculation, felt her heart plummet.
[Vanessa] "He gave no instructions whatsoever regarding that matter?"
[Carter] "Yes."
He answered firmly, as if there was nothing more to consider.
The light in her eyes dimmed. She stared at the floor for a moment before forcing a faint smile.
[Vanessa] "Thank you for answering. Um, could you please not tell Declan that I asked this? I beg of you."
[Carter] "Ah, yes. I will do so."
Hearing her subsequent request, Carter was firmly under the delusion that his guess had hit the mark perfectly.
After bowing to him once more, Vanessa turned and left the library. The weight of the book she carried felt like the weight of her heart.
He said he would look into the tip-off.
And yet, the aide claimed he hadn't heard a thing about it.
Did that mean Declan hadn't granted her request?
*****
As the wedding date approached, caught in a whirlwind, Vanessa grew increasingly anxious.
She wanted to resolve the Rohawk family's affairs before marrying Declan.
She felt that if anything—no matter how small—could be brought to light, she could stand by his side more proudly than she could now.
...Is it difficult, after all?
She didn't think that Declan, who always cared for her, had done that on purpose.
She rationalized it by thinking that since it was entangled with collateral blood relatives, uncovering the truth must be difficult.
Walking down the straight corridor, Vanessa spotted a group of maids whispering among themselves as soon as she turned the corner.
Likewise, upon seeing her, they flinched in surprise and hurriedly scattered.
And every time Vanessa passed, they bowed their waists deep, greeting her with an attitude so perfect that, outwardly, no fault could be found.
Walking among them felt like traversing a bed of roses bristling with thorns. She tried to think she was ignoring it, but it felt as if the soles of her feet were already pierced by countless spikes, bleeding.
Nevertheless, Vanessa composed her expression, pretending to be resolute as she brushed past them.
A week ago, when news of Declan and Vanessa’s marriage began to spread quietly, their attitude had shifted once again.
The cold water, so frigid it had been torture to dip her hands into, had turned into piping hot water as if the past had never happened. Their insolent gazes had become tame, as if their spirits had been crushed.
[Vanessa] "Haa."
Returning to her bedroom, she leaned her back against the door. Once the servants disappeared from her view, she could finally breathe.
Hugging the book, she slid down along the door until she sat on the floor.
She wasn't happy just because they were acting politely now. It was the power of Declan, the master of this castle, that made them that way, not her.
...Enough. You decided to stop thinking like this.
Since she had made up her mind to willingly stay by Declan’s side, she tried not to care about the gazes of others. Even if everyone shunned her, she resolved to endure steadfastly with her feelings for him alone.
Vanessa lifted her gaze. Hanging on a rack in one corner of the bedroom was a luxurious dress exuding opulence. She slowly picked herself up and approached it.
Adorned with peridot gems, the same color as her eyes and voluminous lace, it was the wedding dress she would wear for the ceremony.
She reached out and touched the pure white skirt. The fabric was so soft that admiration spilled out no matter how many times she touched it. Even though she had tried it on once, it still didn't feel real.
Marriage...
In fact, at first, Vanessa did not doubt that the proposal he made by the lake was a joke. She simply considered it a form of expression showing how much he wanted to hold onto her.
But that night, Declan climbed onto the bed where she lay, hugged her from behind, and spoke clearly.
‘I wasn't joking about getting married.’
His distinct voice, without a single tremor, tickled her eardrums.
The proposal in the dark of night was as deep and intimate as the dawn sky. It felt completely different from when she heard it at the lake.
Immediately after uttering those words, Declan pushed his fingers between Vanessa’s. Even with its warmth, the binding sensation strangely evoked the image of shackles.
Vanessa looked around the bedroom once, then looked back at the dress. In the bedroom where dim colors dominated, the wedding dress was stark in its brightness.
Looking at the dress made exactly to her wishes, thoughts of her late father flooded her mind.
‘I don't know who the partner will be, but I hope you have a happy marriage. Vanessa.’
Whenever she wore a white dress prepared for a banquet, Count Rohawk’s face would darken like a father sending his daughter off to marriage already.
Every time that happened, many in the Count’s household, including Vanessa, would burst into laughter, saying he was helpless. Vanessa had laughed the brightest among them.
[Vanessa] "Fortunately, I think I am making a happy marriage. Father."
Her eyes grew hot as she caressed the sleeve of the wedding dress.
In a noble society, it was extremely rare to marry someone with whom you shared mutual feelings. In that respect, although she was no longer a noble, she was entering a very satisfying marriage.
[Vanessa] "But... I am so sad."
The reason wasn't that Declan was lacking. Nor was it because her situation had become unfortunate enough to be unsuited for him.
[Vanessa] "Because there is no family to watch over my marriage..."
She dropped her head low. Tears she couldn't swallow fell, dampening the hem of the dress.
[Vanessa] "I'm happy, but I keep feeling sad."
As the wedding approached, these contradictory emotions, rather than diminishing, kept inflating in size.
It brought her joy that everyone in the world would acknowledge her and Declan as husband and wife, but conversely, a sorrow like dark storm clouds kept gathering in her heart.
She knew very well why she was feeling these paradoxical emotions.
[Vanessa] "I miss you, Father."
It was because she missed her father, who would have wished to see her happy so very much.
*****
The sun set, casting a reddish glow as night visited the Grand Ducal Castle.
Declan, who had been attending to government affairs, raised his head at the knock, breaking the silence.
The butler bowed politely and spoke.
[Butler] "Master, Count Quasar has arrived."
Before he could finish speaking, a bottle of liquor, sloshing with its contents, was thrust out over the butler's head.
Seeing that, Declan put down the quill he had been holding all this time and rubbed his tired eyes.
As the butler stepped aside, Count Quasar—Julian—who was standing behind him, shook the liquor bottle with a slick smile.
Declan let out a dry chuckle without realizing it. Putting his work aside for a moment, he led his guest to the sofa.
[Julian] "It's been a while, Your Grace."
Julian politely poured alcohol into his glass.
As if intending to wash away his fatigue with alcohol, Declan tossed it back in one gulp and frowned.
[Declan] "Drop the honorifics. It doesn't suit you."
His Adam's apple bobbed solidly as he wiped his mouth and scolded him.
[Declan] "What brings you here so suddenly?"
Julian, smiling smoothly, filled his own glass and glanced at the office desk where Declan had been sitting until moments ago.
Seeing the documents stacked precariously as if they were about to topple over, his breath hitched automatically.
[Julian] "If you don't want to leave this world early from overwork, take it easy. I don't want to lose a friend that way."
Declan, leaning his arm on the back of the sofa, narrowed his eyes.
Whenever he received that cold stare, Julian felt a chill run down his spine, feeling as if his insides were being seen through.
Moreover, since he was trying to gauge the intent hidden inside Declan right now, the feeling was even more acute.
Letting out a faint sigh, Julian raised both hands and waved them as if admitting defeat.
[Julian] "Actually, I heard a bizarre rumor."
[Declan] "What rumor?"
[Julian] "That you are preparing for a wedding."
[Declan] "Why is that a bizarre rumor?"
Declan furrowed his brow at the objection implied by the word. Since he retorted instead of immediately barking that it was a false rumor, Julian’s face went slack.
[Julian] "...Hey, it's not true, right?"
[Declan] "What if it is?"
Again, no denial.
Julian, who knew Declan fairly well from a relationship spanning nearly ten years, dropped his jaw at the chilling realization that the rumor seemed to be true.
[Julian] "What? Seriously? Who is the partner?"
Declan only drank his liquor without answering.
Scrutinizing his handsome face, Julian listed the names of women he knew who had any contact with the Grand Duke. But Declan remained immovable, not answering.
[Julian] "What is it? Are you really not going to tell me? Are you doing it reluctantly? Come to think of it, I heard you went to the Imperial Capital recently. Is it a marriage forcibly arranged by the Imperial Family?"
[Declan] "Blah, blah, blah. You’re annoying me to death."
Declan waved his hand as if his head was ringing from the tidal wave of questions. Then, he turned to the window and silently tilted his glass.
Julian straightened his posture, looking at his friend who seemed to have absolutely no intention of spilling the beans.
[Julian] "No, can't you at least tell me who it is? Huh? Your Grace."
Declan regretted letting him into the office.
In truth, rather than missing his friend, it was more accurate to say he craved the alcohol Julian brought, as he was just feeling tired. He shouldn't have been lured by the booze to let this blabbermouth in.
Since he couldn't kick him out now, Declan answered with a sigh.
[Declan] "Vanessa Rohawk."
Julian, who had been fussily urging him, froze at the name that flowed from his lips.
Declan enjoyed his drink leisurely, with no intention of adding any further explanation. For a moment, only the sound of the liquid sloshing in his glass filled the office.
Not long after, Julian’s voice, steeped in shock, was heard.
[Julian] "Vanessa Rohawk?"
[Declan] "......."
[Julian] "Don't tell me, that sinner I know, Vanessa Rohawk?"
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