Acidity of Regret Ch 28
- Dec 25, 2025
- 7 min read
The light in her eyes fractured. She looked like someone who had walked into a glass wall she hadn't seen coming—stunned, breathless, and utterly broken.
She shook her head, the movement frantic.
[Vanessa] "What... what are you talking about? Why? Why would you..."
She had never even suspected he felt this way. How could she, when he had shared her bed so consistently? Despite his constant excursions to hunt monsters, he always returned to her. He always claimed her.
She had lived under the quiet, hazy assumption that a child was simply an eventual certainty of their marriage.
[Declan] "I have no desire for it."
His voice was a flat line, devoid of the warmth he usually reserved for her.
For the first time, the man who had always humored her every whim was cold, his expression a fortress that no amount of pleading could breach.
He felt like a stranger. A sharp, stinging ache blossomed in the center of her chest.
[Declan] "I’ve been taking medication regularly to ensure it doesn't happen."
He was resolute, speaking as if there were no room for negotiation.
Her breath hitched.
She had known he was a man of meticulous detail, but this?
The thought that he had been systematically preventing a pregnancy behind her back was a betrayal she hadn't been prepared for.
More than that, the matter of an heir was a foundational pillar of marriage—it was something that should have been a joint decision.
[Vanessa] "Why didn't you tell me? Why... then why did you even marry me?"
A child might not be the sole purpose of a marriage, but it wasn't something that could be ignored either. To Vanessa, a baby represented the only hope of a future that wasn't defined by her past.
She wanted his child. She wanted it with a desperation that clawed at her throat.
Declan reached out, cupping her cheek as he gazed into her brimming eyes.
[Declan] "Because I wanted you by my side. Permanently."
[Vanessa] "..."
[Declan] "That is the only reason that matters."
Vanessa choked on the words she wanted to scream at him.
How could she throw his selfishness in his face when he framed it as a devotion so absolute that it excluded everyone else—even their own potential children?
He had married her because he wanted her.
But the weight of it was crushing.
She blinked, and a single, hot tear traced a path down her cheek. She swiped it away with the back of her hand, her voice coming out in a ragged, shallow hitch.
[Vanessa] "Then what about me?"
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "Am I supposed to just stay here... always this lonely?"
It was the first time she had let the mask slip. The raw, ugly truth of her heart finally spilled out.
[Vanessa] "In this castle, without you... always alone. Just waiting..."
Giving the feeling a name made it real. It solidified the black, ink-like loneliness that filled her. It was a hollow sensation—a void so large that, despite being "the Grand Duchess," she felt like she was disappearing.
She realized then that she was more than just lonely; she was empty.
Declan was affectionate, yes, but he was gone for weeks at a time. Without him, she was nothing more than a forgotten relic gathering dust in the corners of his life. No one truly looked at her. No one cared for the woman behind the title.
Without his presence to validate her, the Grand Duchess didn't exist at all.
[Declan] "It won't be much longer."
He leaned in, kissing her cheek with that same terrifyingly soft tenderness.
[Declan] "Once this business is finished, I’ll be with you constantly. I promise."
He sounded like a father soothing a colicky child.
Declan lifted her hand, his lips brushing against her wedding ring as if sealing a blood pact. The jewel sparkled, catching the light as if it were an accomplice to his persuasion.
[Declan] "Do you understand?"
There was a time when she thought this man was made of ice. Before she truly knew him—back on that balcony—she had believed the rumors that he was a cold-blooded monster.
But the Declan she saw now wasn't cold. He was warm. He was cloyingly sweet. His words, his touch, his focus—everything was so intoxicatingly kind that her emptiness seemed to dissolve whenever he was near.
When he filled her heart with that sweetness, she found it easy to forget the dark rot of her own resentment.
[Vanessa] "Yes..."
She stopped looking inward. She surrendered to the comfort he offered, choosing to find stability in his shadow rather than facing the sun alone.
Vanessa leaned into his embrace, her eyes fluttering shut.
Was this what marriage was?
Was this love?
To feel as though you were suffocating one moment, and then to feel like a fool for ever doubting the person holding you the next?
She didn't know. She had no one to ask.
Suddenly, she remembered her parents telling her how much they had rejoiced on the day she was born.
I guess... I’ll never know what that feels like.
Because Declan didn't want a child.
The image of a family—a dream she hadn't even realized she was holding onto—dissipated like mist.
She couldn't bring herself to push him. Not when he was being so "kind."
If she pushed too hard, and he grew tired of her...
The fear of his affection cooling was enough to paralyze her. She couldn't lose the only person who claimed to want her.
She didn't want to think anymore.
At some point, Vanessa had become an expert at giving up. She treated her own sacrifices as the price she had to pay for his love.
Inside the Grand Duke’s study.
Declan stared out the window with hollow, clinical eyes.
The Vinkart Duchy was a land of blurred seasons, trapped in a perpetual, biting chill. The gardens surrounding the fortress reflected that harshness—bleak and unyielding.
And yet, the woman walking through that wasteland changed the entire atmosphere.
Vanessa reached up to tuck a stray lock of golden hair behind her ear, revealing the pale curve of her face.
She was bundled in furs, but the cold had still managed to stain her cheeks a delicate rose. She was breathtakingly, hauntingly beautiful.
Despite the freezing temperatures, she never missed her daily walk. She paced the gardens as if the castle walls were a cage she was trying to outrun.
“Let’s have a baby.”
The conversation from the previous night echoed in his mind.
“I want to have a child with you.”
For a brief moment, Vanessa’s eyes had regained that lost spark. Her emerald gaze, usually so wilted and withdrawn, had looked like a fresh spring morning.
But Declan had cut that hope down without a second thought. He watched the way her pupils had dilated in shock when he told her he wanted no heir.
“Then am I supposed to just stay here... always this lonely?”
A dry, sharp laugh escaped his throat at the memory of her pathetic expression.
They really were the same.
His wife was no different from the woman who had tormented him until the day she died.
The same unnecessary beauty, the same penchant for weeping, the same porcelain-pale complexion. Even the desperate desire to have a child just to cure her own loneliness was identical.
I wonder if my father felt like this.
The thought was immediately followed by a rejection.
No.
His father had been indifferent to his mother. He hadn't cared when she carved scars into her own wrists, or even when she used her only son's life as a bargaining chip for attention. His father had been too busy being obsessed with that other woman in the Ingzella Empire.
Declan was different. He couldn't seem to look away from his wife, even as he saw his mother’s ghost in her.
Was it just interest?
Every time he thought of Vanessa, his chest felt tight, a strange, unpleasant prickle crawling under his skin.
It was a sensation he hadn't been able to define since the day he brought her here. He thought it would fade, but it only intensified.
Even while buried in state affairs, he found himself wondering what she was doing at that exact moment.
He told himself it was surveillance. But he was starting to suspect that was a lie.
[Carter] "Is something amusing, Your Grace?"
His voice pulled him back to reality. Declan turned away from the window.
[Declan] "Nothing."
He dismissed the question with a curt reply and sat down to begin the day’s business.
Agenda after agenda passed until Carter cleared his throat, his posture stiffening as he reached the final, most sensitive item.
[Carter] "And, Your Grace... regarding our previous diplomatic ties with the Kingdom of Garten. Do you recall?"
Declan offered a silent nod, prompting him to continue.
Garten was a kingdom to the west, a place where magic was as common as breath. They produced more world-renowned mages than any other nation.
Their sudden interest in the Duchy stemmed from the Tirele Mountain Range—the legendary sanctuary of monsters.
They were fascinated by the black mana permeating the range. While black mana was the source of the monster plague, the Garten mages believed that if they could purify it, it would become an inexhaustible energy source. For a kingdom built on magic, the allure was obvious.
It wasn't a bad deal for the Duchy, either. If Garten found the source and purified it, the monsters would vanish. The peace the Duchy had craved for centuries would finally be theirs.
[Carter] "A delegation from the Kingdom of Garten wishes to inspect the Tirele Range in person."
[Declan] "In person?"
It was expected, but the timing was terrible. Monster activity had been erratic lately. Sending mages into the range now was a suicide mission.
[Carter] "Indeed. I warned them of the recent instability, but they were quite... insistent."
[Declan] "Do they have a death wish?"
His scathing remark made Carter wipe a bead of sweat from his brow.
[Carter] "They claim their magical prowess will protect them. We are drafting an agreement to ensure we aren't held liable for any... accidents."
[Declan] "Fine. What else?"
[Carter] "And..."
Carter swallowed hard, his jaw tightening. He looked like a man facing a firing squad.
[Carter] "It seems Garten sent word to the Ingzella Empire as well. The Empire considers this a matter of global security and wishes to join the expedition."
He tugged at his collar, his voice straining.
[Carter] "The... the designated representative for the Empire is the Crown Prince himself. Prince Hayden is coming."
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