Acidity of Regret Ch 4
- Dec 14, 2025
- 7 min read
Updated: Dec 16, 2025
The preceding Grand Duke Vinkart had clung fiercely to life, driven by the desire for revenge against the blood relatives who had abandoned him.
For that purpose, he cultivated the abandoned land and built his own army, making the North completely the domain of the Grand Ducal family.
But such acute resentment likely faded with the passing of generations. Thus, gossips dared to speculate that the Grand Ducal house continued to serve as a fortress, protecting the Ingzella Empire even now.
Whatever their true internal motives, their external actions were those of obedience.
Vanessa suddenly thought that this topic might not be welcome to him. She was discussing only the superficial exterior without knowing the true inside story. Just as she disliked people who praised only her looks without knowing anything else about her.
With that thought, she naturally steered the topic away. She ramblingly brought up another trivial subject when she suddenly felt a penetrating, undeniable gaze.
Declan was staring intently at her.
[Vanessa] "What is it?"
[Declan] "I think I know why your reputation is so widespread."
His tone was so casual—not unlike his previous comment that the orchestra’s performance wasn't to his liking—that it took Vanessa a moment to grasp the meaning of his words.
Reputation.
Any rumors about her would surely concern her bright, innocent beauty, which could never be concealed even beneath flickering light.
A breeze, slightly warmer than the ambient temperature, swirled between them.
His blunt comment instantly shattered the peaceful atmosphere. He might not have felt it, but Vanessa certainly did.
A strange tension, one that involuntarily made her clench and unclench her hands, permeated the air. Her chest tightened as if bound by a thread, forcing her to swallow hard.
A shy heat bloomed in her heart, making her want to look away, but she couldn't. His deep eyes held an unspoken power that captivated—no, enslaved—a person's gaze.
As if confirming her tension was not baseless, Declan leaned his upper body forward.
His movement was so fluid and controlled that she only realized how close he was when he was right in front of her.
More precisely, her reason returned the moment the scent of his tobacco reached her.
[Vanessa] "I thought..."
His eyes brought the midnight sea to her mind. They were so vast that she felt that if she fell into them, she would never find her way out.
The distance between them closed until a kiss would not have been surprising. Startled by his proximity, she subtly averted her gaze.
[Vanessa] "I thought Your Grace was disinterested in... these kinds of things."
She whispered in a small, almost swallowed voice, and he chuckled softly. His heavy breath lightly brushed against her lips.
[Declan] "I am a man, too."
[Vanessa] "..."
[Declan] "Did you genuinely believe I wouldn't be?"
His long, lean fingers gently traced her jawline, then moved to cup her chin delicately.
It was a pressure she could easily escape if she wanted to, yet her body remained utterly still, as if bound by rope.
He met her eyes with a prolonged gaze, as if seeking permission.
Looking into his deep, distant eyes—eyes that revealed nothing of what lay within—made her feel completely exposed.
She was embarrassed, but she didn’t want to pull away, so she stayed silent.
To be honest, she was slightly curious, too.
Interpreting her compliant stillness as permission, Declan slowly lowered his head.
With the background of the sprawling rose garden, the man's and woman's lips softly joined.
It was only when she tasted the sharp, spicy flavor on her tongue that she realized:
This was her first kiss.
After that, the two of them spent time fiercely ablaze, as if mocking their former dry, awkward encounters.
They met at the secluded balcony, where no one ever came, seizing every opportunity to press their lips together and exchange heated kisses.
A dizzying passion overflowed between them, making it impossible to believe they were the same reserved man and woman who had acted distant in the ballroom moments before.
[Vanessa] "Ah, wait, Your Grace."
The moment she opened the balcony door, her hand was seized, and her body pulled.
Declan, who had been sitting on the couch, settled her onto his lap.
Barely managing to fend off his immediate assault on her lips, she glanced nervously at the door, which hadn't been fully shut.
[Vanessa] "If someone comes this way..."
[Declan] "No one will."
His reply was curt. This change was a result of their deepening intimacy.
When she asked him to simply drop the formalities, as he kept fluctuating between formal and informal speech, he accepted the suggestion as if he had been waiting for it.
Frankly, she preferred it that way too; it was less exhausting than having the Grand Duke behave stiffly toward her.
Furthermore, dropping the formality made her feel psychologically closer to him, which made her slightly giddy. This strange emotional shift was something even she couldn't fully explain.
No, perhaps she did know. The fact that he used formal speech with everyone else but spoke informally only with her made her feel, somehow, special.
[Vanessa] "It's not safe."
Their repeated meetings had confirmed this was a lightly traveled area, but her anxiety wouldn't easily subside.
It wasn't completely detached from the ballroom; anyone could come up the stairs and walk a short distance to reach this spot.
She had no desire whatsoever to be the subject of a devastating scandal by being caught.
They were not just anyone. They were public figures who attracted abundant rumors with their slightest movement. She wanted to decline any further snowballing attention.
Declan quirked an eyebrow at her stance: she would not allow a kiss until the door was shut. He eventually reached out, secured the door latch, and drew the curtain.
Only when the gap was completely sealed did the tension leave her hands, which were tightly gripping his shoulders.
Declan wrapped his arms around her waist and playfully touched her red lips.
[Declan] "Does it still hurt?"
His zealous kissing last time had left her lips quite swollen. His concern, however, only brought back memories of their passionate encounter, making her cheeks flush.
[Vanessa] "I'm fine now."
He caressed her lips a moment longer before gently joining their mouths.
Vanessa’s hands, which had been lost and unsure during their first kiss, now wrapped naturally around his neck.
The Grand Duke was a cold man, but the act of kissing him was immensely hot.
The moment their skin touched, a blazing heat seemed to sweep through her entire body. Her heart pounded fiercely with the warmth. Her gasp for air was instantly stolen by him.
[Vanessa] "Ngh..."
As Vanessa tilted her head back, he firmly cupped the back of her head with his palm.
His straight fingers showed no hesitation in carelessly messing up the hair secured by the hair vine. That rough manner revealed his unreserved nature.
Feeling the sensation of her lip being bitten, Vanessa thought:
He and she were not engaged. They had certainly never promised marriage.
Yet, she couldn't stop the dangerous game she played with him.
In the noble society, where a woman's marriage was essentially a business transaction, she knew she should preserve her modesty, but instinct kept leading her back here.
The sweet, mesmerizing, spine-tingling sensation—something she had never experienced before—paralyzed her reason. She knew she had to stop this secret act, but her will was failing her.
Today, too, they kissed until every nerve in her body felt soft and melted. Vanessa caught her breath and clumsily wiped her wet lips with her hand.
Declan pushed her hand away and, instead, gently rubbed the corner of her mouth where her lip color had smeared. His eyes still held that intense heat.
That warm gaze was fixed on her face, which was languidly relaxed. Her features, mussed from his touch, held a subtle allure that stimulated his desire.
His tender gesture of wiping her mouth only intensified her embarrassment, and she nervously rolled her eyes.
Flustered, she parted her lips, and her tongue accidentally brushed his fingertip before darting away.
She noticed the scent of cigar smoke was gone from his hand.
[Vanessa] "You don't smoke anymore?"
The sentence lacked a clear subject, but he seemed to understand without difficulty.
[Declan] "You said you disliked it."
Vanessa definitely disliked the scent of tobacco. Every time the heavy fragrance filled her lungs, the fact that she was doing something irreversible crashed down on her like thunder.
In the all-too-sweet, dreamlike time she spent with him, the bitter smell of the cigar was a constant reminder of reality.
Since she couldn't bring herself to explain the true reason, she had simply said it tasted bitter, and he must have taken her words to heart.
Looking back, she hadn't seen him smoke in front of her once since then. Considering how addicted he seemed when they first met, this was remarkable.
Such an action only unsettled her further. He clearly wasn't the type of man who listened to others, so why did he heed her words so well?
[Declan] "I won't be able to see you for a while. Something needs to be handled in the Grand Duchy."
He spoke as he rose from the couch and tidied his disheveled attire.
She had noticed he had been staying in the capital unusually long this time.
And very cautiously, she suspected the reason might be connected to her.
Unlike before, he had been meticulously attending all social events, and each time, they had met in secret.
Perhaps because of that subtle vanity, she felt a profound sense of disappointment.
[Vanessa] "When will you return next?"
[Declan] "I don't know."
He smoothed her hair, which he had messed up with his caresses. Her heart thumped heavily at his unhesitating touch. It was an unfamiliar rhythm, much like the one she felt when they kissed.
However, the ambiguous reply caused a faint ripple in her eyes.
She and he had no official relationship. Although they met in secret and kissed like passionate lovers, they were not bound by anything concrete.
A defined relationship between people often brings a sense of stability. In that regard, the bond between her and Declan was utterly unstable.
Perhaps their connection was just a thread—one that would snap instantly if someone decided to cut it.
A man and a woman without a formal commitment to bind them together could only ever be such a fragile, fleeting relationship.
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