Acidity of Regret Ch 40
- Dec 30, 2025
- 6 min read
The moment she saw the stain, a scalding heat surged behind her eyes, and the world began to spin. A paralyzing shiver raced down her spine, and her legs gave way, leaving her to collapse onto the floor.
Her mind was too numb to register the dull thud of her fall or the ache in her body. A cold, terrifying dread wrapped around her like a shroud.
[Vanessa] “Ugh...”
Bile rose in her throat, and she quickly pressed her hand against her lips to stifle the urge to retch.
She was no physician, but the evidence before her pointed toward a single, horrifying truth.
Ashen-faced, Vanessa reached down with trembling fingers to touch her abdomen.
Only yesterday, she thought she could feel a faint warmth there; today, it felt like a hollow, echoing void.
It’s just a feeling. There is no proof. I feel unwell today, and the air is cold against my skin.
That must be it. I just feel empty.
It has to be that...
She reached out tentatively. The dark mark on the sheets blurred before her tear-filled eyes. Her fingertips shook as violently as her racing heart.
When she finally touched the stark, crimson evidence, the premonition solidified into a crushing reality. The suspicion she had tried to push away now stood as an undeniable fact.
[Vanessa] “No... No...”
A string of hollow denials escaped her lips.
[Vanessa] “It cannot be.”
She told herself it was too early to abandon hope. Perhaps this was not the end.
She forced herself to stand, her movements clumsy and desperate. Despite the lingering abdominal pain and the crushing exhaustion from the night before, she moved on pure instinct.
She pulled the bell cord to summon help, then pressed her forearm against a sharp corner of the bedframe. When the first attempt failed to draw blood, she pressed harder, dragging her skin against the wood again and again.
Finally, the skin broke. She watched as the blood dripped from her arm onto the bed linens.
She had to ensure that neither Declan nor his men would suspect the true source of the original stain. She could not allow even a whisper of her pregnancy to reach their ears.
She was wrapping the wound with a corner of the duvet when a maid entered. The maid’s face turned white the moment she saw the blood.
[Vanessa] “Summon the physician.”
Vanessa’s voice was a ghost of itself, devoid of all strength.
It was not long before the physician arrived. Once they were alone in the bedchamber, Vanessa swallowed hard, her throat feeling like it was filled with sand.
The physician treated the self-inflicted wound on her arm first. Then came the examination of the child.
Vanessa closed her eyes, unable to face the physician’s expression.
Though Vanessa remained outwardly still, her heart thrashed against her ribs as if trying to escape her chest.
When the physician finally moved away, she felt a sudden, biting chill.
[Physician] “It... appears you have suffered a miscarriage, My Lady.”
The chill she felt was the cold reality of despair.
She had hoped against hope that she had misheard or that the physician was mistaken. But she continued, her explanation feeling like nails being driven into Vanessa’s heart.
[Physician] “Since it was so early in the term, the womb had not yet fully stabilized. The physical shock from last night was too much.”
[Vanessa] “...”
[Physician] “...My Lady?”
The physician called out softly, concerned by the hollow look in Vanessa’s eyes.
Vanessa did not move. Within her shattered heart, the very will to live was beginning to disintegrate.
Miscarried.
The child was gone.
Though it had been early, she had felt the spark of life within her only hours ago. She knew it hadn't been an illusion. The child had been there, a quiet promise of a new family.
Now, that promise was broken.
Nowhere in the world did that life exist anymore.
Gone... in a single night.
Her time with Declan had been no different than usual. It was a night like any other, save for the fact that he had forced another person to witness her humiliation.
Yes, other than Sophie’s presence, nothing had changed...
But as the thought took root, she realized how wrong she was.
Last night had been entirely different. It was the night a life had been extinguished—a child who would never see the light of day.
Once again, she had failed to protect what was hers.
She had tried to run to save the baby, only to be captured and lose that fragile life anyway.
Before she could even hold the child in her arms, it had faded away like a dying sunset, leaving behind nothing but a small, tragic stain that a single washing could erase.
Though they had shared only a few brief heartbeats, a fire of guilt now consumed her. It felt as though someone had set her soul ablaze and fled, leaving her to burn in an unbearable agony.
She could not speak. She could not even curl her fingers. She felt that if she made even the slightest movement, the grief would erupt from her in a violent, jagged scream.
And yet, she wondered if she even had the right to weep for the loss.
The final thread of her patience snapped. The last shard of her willpower slipped through her fingers like sand.
This loss brought a sense of desolation far deeper than the deaths of her father or Elliot. The void inside her twisted and tore at her remains, beginning to consume her from the within.
[Physician] “My Lady?”
Vanessa blinked slowly, signaling she had heard.
The physician, who had feared the Grand Duchess had lost consciousness while sitting up, let out a quiet sigh of relief.
Yet, even though Vanessa had responded, her pale face looked so deathly that the physician’s heart sank with worry.
[Vanessa] “...Tell me.”
Her voice sounded like dry sand—brittle, parched, and devoid of life.
[Vanessa] “Will you tell Declan?”
[Physician] “...Tell him what?”
[Vanessa] “That I was with child.”
Before the woman could answer, Vanessa whispered her command.
[Vanessa] “Do not speak of it. I will tell him myself.”
The physician hesitated, her eyes darting nervously, but eventually she bowed her head.
[Physician] “Yes, I understand, My Lady.”
The physician’s standing orders were to report any significant change in the Grand Duchess’ health to the Grand Duke immediately. However, seeing Vanessa in such a fragile state, she felt it best not to provoke her.
Moreover, the physician dreaded Declan’s reaction to such news. Whether it came from her lips or the Grand Duchess’s, it was bound to bring a storm. She was secretly relieved to be excused from the task.
[Physician] “Are you... Are you alright, My Lady?”
The physician asked tentatively, fidgeting with her hands. She had heard of the Duke's violent behavior the night before. Anyone could see that his cruelty had been the direct cause of this tragedy.
It would be better if she screamed, or blamed him, or demanded justice, the physician thought.
But Vanessa was too quiet.
Her reaction to the pregnancy had been grim, but this current stillness was far more frightening.
A person who screams can be predicted, but a person who swallows their agony until they rot from the inside is capable of anything.
That was why she asked if Vanessa was alright.
Vanessa did not answer. Her eyes, like withered leaves, stared blankly into the distance.
[Vanessa] “The window...”
[Physician] “Pardon?”
[Vanessa] “Will you open the window for me?”
It was a strange request. But feeling an inexplicable pressure from the Duchess’s lifeless gaze, the physician stood and walked to the window.
There was a haunting sense of finality in Vanessa’s pale features.
It did not take long to throw the windows open and return. When the physician looked at her again, the Grand Duchess’s expression had not changed.
[Vanessa] “I wish to rest.”
[Physician] “Ah, yes. I shall take my leave then.”
Thinking she should focus on preparing a specialized diet for the Duchess over the next few days, the physician gathered her medical bag.
She left the room, never noticing that the small dagger she used for trimming herbs was no longer inside.
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