Acidity of Regret Ch 45
- Jan 4
- 8 min read
The incident involving the precious lady of the Rohawk family—her sudden, early-morning outburst of sobbing—eventually settled as time passed.
Since she could not possibly explain that her tears were a child-like reaction to reuniting with the family she thought she would never see again, she claimed she had suffered a harrowing nightmare.
In a sense, it was not an absolute lie.
The time she had spent wandering, trapped within the labyrinth Declan had constructed, was a thorough nightmare. It was a wretched ordeal she never wished to revisit—one so miserable that she would rather face death than endure it a second time.
Vanessa toyed with her swollen eyelids. Before her sat a cup of warm, steaming tea. She could not recall how long it had been since she last enjoyed tea while sitting on her terrace, overlooking the picturesque garden.
It was not merely a matter of her surroundings, but of her internal peace. While the scenery at the Grand Duchy had always felt dark and oppressive, as if the very air were closing in on her, this place was filled with an effortless tranquility, as if she had finally returned to her soul's true harbor.
She took a sip of the rich Darjeeling. As the familiar flavor spread across her tongue—a taste she thought was lost to her forever—the reality that she had genuinely returned to the past sank in with a poignant ache.
Once the situation had stabilized and her confusion began to wane, Vanessa was able to reflect on her conversation with Rohodre, point by point.
Three days...
According to Dina, the current date was exactly three days before her first encounter with Declan. A banquet was scheduled for three days from now. The "Vanessa Rohawk" of yesterday had already specially tailored a snow-white dress specifically for that occasion.
That means I will run into him in three days.
She tried to steady her fluttering heart at the mere thought of Declan. The scenes Rohodre had shown her were not easily erased from her mind, no matter how hard she tried to shake them.
To think that Declan Vinkart had actually shed tears...
[Dina] "My Lady, the chef prepared some dessert for you."
[Vanessa] "Ah, thank you."
Dina stepped onto the terrace and set the dessert on the table. Fortunately, the sound of her arrival shattered Vanessa's unpleasant reminiscing.
[Vanessa] "Dina."
[Dina] "Yes, My Lady?"
[Vanessa] "Would it be possible to change my dress for the banquet?"
[Dina] "Which dress do you mean? Oh! Do you mean the one you just had fitted yesterday?"
[Vanessa] "Yes."
[Dina] "You want to change that one? But why? It looked so wonderful on you!"
Dina hopped slightly with disappointment on Vanessa's behalf.
[Dina] "The tailor made that specifically for you; it's the only one of its kind in the capital. You even said you loved it."
[Vanessa] "...Yes, but looking at it again, I’ve decided it’s not quite right."
As if rebelling against the fate that had already occurred, she wanted to sever every link to her first meeting with Declan. She wanted everything to be different so that the timeline would not flow toward the tragedy she had already lived.
Recalling the moment she had spoken with him on that balcony, dressed in a white gown that resembled a wedding dress, brought her nothing but horror. If she could, she wanted to uproot her memories and cast them away.
[Dina] "Very well. I shall contact the tailor."
Though Dina’s disappointment was evident, her resolve was firm, leaving Dina with no choice but to comply.
While the maid went to summon the tailor, she picked at the dessert with her fork, dwelling on her memories of Declan.
The more she remembered, the more she felt the remnants of a love that had long since turned to ash. Only a dark, crimson hatred remained to warm her chest.
Retracing the steps of her marriage made her throat feel parched, and before she knew it, her teacup was empty.
She set the delicate, flower-patterned cup back onto its saucer, her thoughts finally organized.
Since she had returned to the past, Declan would undoubtedly attempt the same maneuvers as before. Vanessa, remembering his villainy, had to stop him.
However, the power held by a Grand Duke was not something she could dismantle through her own desperate struggles alone.
Which meant...
I need the help of the Crown Prince.
Around this time, her father often held private audiences with the Emperor. The reason for those meetings was a potential marriage alliance between her and the Crown Prince. If it was Hayden—who had always shown her a great deal of favor—he would likely be willing to take the hand she offered.
Striking while the iron was hot, she visited her father’s study the very next day. Unlike the previous morning, she knocked politely before entering.
[Count] "Vanessa, come in."
Count Rohawk possessed a naturally gentle disposition; fearing his daughter might feel embarrassed, he did not mention her behavior from the day before.
As they spoke over tea, she carefully observed her father’s face.
In truth, while she was adapting quickly, a lingering anxiety remained that this might all be a dream. She had lived with the belief that she would never see him again.
[Vanessa] "Um, Father."
That anxiety became the catalyst for her resolve. If this was indeed a chance given to her, she wanted to seize it by any means necessary. She could not let her precious family die so easily again.
[Vanessa] "Actually, there is someone I have taken an interest in."
The Count, who had been laughing warmly, froze at his daughter’s unexpected confession. He blinked as if he couldn't quite process what he had heard, and only after a long silence did he react with bewilderment.
[Count] "Ah, I—is that so? I certainly didn't expect to hear that."
Vanessa was the Count’s only child, and as such, he had raised her with the utmost devotion. From the moment he first saw his infant daughter wrapped in swaddling clothes, he had become a hopelessly doting father.
For a daughter so precious, such a statement was quite a shock.
Of course, as he watched her grow, he had felt pride tempered by the constant worry of the day he would have to give her away in marriage.
Her words made that dreaded moment feel as though it had suddenly rushed to his doorstep, leaving him deeply unsettled.
Vanessa caught the fleeting emotions on her father's face and offered a soft smile. It was the clearest evidence of his genuine love for her.
Suddenly, she thought of Declan, who had shackled her in his own twisted way. Feeling a surge of bitterness in her mouth, she spoke quickly.
[Vanessa] "It is the Crown Prince, Your Highness."
Count Rohawk’s eyes widened, and he blinked. He rubbed his chin, looking intrigued.
[Count] "Well, now. Is that a coincidence?"
[Vanessa] "What do you mean?"
[Count] "It just so happens that I had an audience with His Majesty a few days ago. The purpose of that meeting was that His Majesty wished to move forward with a marriage proposal between you and the Crown Prince."
She already knew this, so she wasn't surprised in the least, yet she widened her eyes as if she hadn't a clue.
[Vanessa] "Is that true?"
[Count] "Yes. His Majesty has doted on you since you were a child, but... I didn't expect him to actually propose a marriage alliance."
[Vanessa] "His Majesty likes me that much?"
[Count] "You didn't know? Even when you were kidnapped as a child, he deployed the imperial troops and aided us in every way possible."
Vanessa lowered her gaze.
Thinking back to when she visited the palace to pay her respects as a child, the Emperor had always smiled at her with a benevolence that rivaled her father's.
It was hard to believe that such a man would later listen to a false report and turn the Rohawk estate into a sea of fire. The only reason the Emperor had been so certain of their treason must have been because Declan Vinkart had manipulated the situation so flawlessly.
He is loathsome.
The sheer depth of that man’s depravity made her skin crawl.
Swallowing her revulsion, she spoke.
[Vanessa] "Then it all works out. If you could speak favorably to him during your next audience, Father..."
[Count] "Of course. Vanessa, if it is what you wish, I shall do so."
Count Rohawk reached out and stroked her hair. His warm, gentle affection washed away her dark mood entirely.
There were only two days left until the Crown Prince’s birthday banquet. That meant she had only two days before she would encounter Declan Vinkart.
I will not be his victim this time.
She vowed that she would never let this gentle hand be taken from her again.
Chandeliers poured down light as brilliant as the sun. Beneath them, a massive crowd had gathered.
[Noble A] "Lady Rohawk, which tailor designed your dress this time?"
[Noble B] "Will you be participating in the upcoming hunting competition?"
[Noble C] "I am planning a tea party soon; would you care to attend?"
It had been an age since she was in such a heated atmosphere of official and unofficial invitations and small talk.
As soon as she entered the banquet hall, the surge of attention made her break into a nervous sweat as she offered awkward smiles.
Still, she was glad their attitudes weren't pointedly hostile.
After becoming the Grand Duchess, every party she hosted for the duchy’s nobles felt like walking on a path of thorns. In those parties, even standing still invited countless stinging glares. Standing tall in the midst of it all, she had sustained invisible wounds. She remembered enduring it all alone, without Declan by her side.
Having once been dragged down to the very bottom, she realized this overwhelming attention was actually a better state of affairs.
Simultaneously, she felt a cynical thought: without her status, all this flattery would turn to mockery. She had learned firsthand how fleeting power could be.
The events before her regression had been enough to mature her instantly. She no longer looked at the world with the same naivety.
[Vanessa] "Elliot."
She slipped away from the crowd and called for the knight standing in the corner.
Elliot approached quietly like a shadow and bowed.
[Elliot] "Yes, My Lady."
[Vanessa] "Could you find where the Crown Prince is?"
She had been searching busily since she arrived, but the silver hair that usually drew so much attention was nowhere to be found. She wanted to secure the Crown Prince before Declan made his appearance, and her heart began to race with urgency.
Elliot, who usually followed her every command with stoic loyalty, furrowed his brow slightly.
[Elliot] "I am your escort, My Lady. I cannot leave your side beyond a certain distance."
[Vanessa] "I’m not going anywhere; I’ll stay right here. There’s no danger while I’m surrounded by people."
[Elliot] "Even so..."
[Vanessa] "Elliot, please. This is a matter of the utmost importance."
Elliot looked at her determined expression and let out a deep sigh, as if accepting defeat.
It was in moments like these that he rarely showed emotion—when he realized he could not change her mind.
[Elliot] "Understood. However, you must not leave this spot. Should I leave you my sword?"
[Vanessa] "You want me to hold a sword while wearing a gown? No—besides, what would I even do with it?"
She pushed him away with an incredulous laugh.
Elliot, looking hesitant and deeply concerned, offered a quick bow.
[Elliot] "I shall return shortly."
He said, before disappearing like a flash.
To ease his worries, she approached a nearby table where people had gathered. Everyone welcomed her warmly into the conversation. Feeling the stark contrast to the cold, icy treatment she had received in the Duchy, she thought once more:
Yes, this is where I belong.
Not in the Vinkart Grand Duchy, which had been undeniably cruel to her, but here, in this Empire.
In Ingzella, the place that allows her to remain as Vanessa Rohawk.
[Noble D] "Speaking of which, I heard Grand Duke Vinkart is attending today's banquet as well."
It was then.
Someone in the group uttered the name that, to Vanessa, was utterly forbidden.
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