Acidity of Regret Ch 46
- Jan 5
- 8 min read
[Noble A] "Oh my, is that actually true?"
[Noble B] "I suppose it makes sense. Since he is a member of the royal family, he must attend in person to celebrate the Crown Prince’s birthday."
[Noble C] "This will be my first time seeing him."
[Noble D] "Is that so? I caught a glimpse of him from afar at the last banquet, and he was strikingly handsome."
The ladies' faces flushed a soft pink as testimonies were traded back and forth with growing excitement. It was a clear sign of rising expectations. In the world of high society, the arrival of a handsome man was always welcome news.
Vanessa quietly raised her glass, the face of the man who had long plagued her mind flickering in her thoughts.
She hated to admit it, but Declan was undeniably attractive. She could still vividly remember how the room had fallen into a chilling silence the moment he first entered the hall before her regression, followed by a sudden burst of frantic whispering. She remembered how the young ladies had been flushed with bashful excitement the moment they met his eyes.
Today would likely be no different.
[Doorman] "His Grace, the Grand Duke of Vinkart, is entering!"
The timing was uncannily perfect. He arrived just as the room was heating up with talk of him.
At the doorman's booming announcement, every eye in the hall snapped toward the entrance. Vanessa was the only one who broke the pattern. She stubbornly fixed her gaze on the lace patterns of the tablecloth.
[Vanessa] "..."
As expected, a tense silence washed over the crowd.
Soon, they would be gasping in admiration at a face that allowed no one to look away.
She toyed with her glass aimlessly, gauging how much time would pass before the murmurs began.
[Noble E] "Is that truly the Grand Duke?"
[Noble F] "Yes, it is, but..."
[Noble E] "Why... why does he look like that?"
[Noble G] "I was wondering the same thing."
The reaction was entirely different from what she had witnessed in the past. Instead of admiration, the air was thick with confusion and hesitation.
'Why does he look like that?' Those words instantly shattered her resolve to never look at him.
She slowly lifted her gaze. Her eyes mingled with the crowd's as she finally looked at him.
[Vanessa] "Ah..."
Only then did she understand why everyone was whispering in such hushed, bewildered tones.
Declan looked so disheveled it was hard to believe he was attending a formal imperial banquet.
His black hair, usually swept back with immaculate precision, fell forward to cover his forehead. His cravat, which should have been tied perfectly, was nowhere to be found.
Even his gold-trimmed formal uniform—though clearly made of the finest materials—radiated a sense of chaos; a cufflink was missing, and the shoulders were heavily creased.
But more than anything, his face was a wreck.
His brow was furrowed like crumpled paper, and his lips were severely parched and cracked. Moreover, his bloodshot, glistening eyes held a murderous intensity that suggested anyone who crossed him would be lucky to leave with their bones intact.
He looked exactly like a man who had lost his sanity after losing something precious.
Vanessa caught the predatory flash in his eyes and instinctively set her glass down.
Thump.
Her heart dropped.
Something is wrong.
A sense of profound dissonance washed over her.
The man in her memories had changed. This was not the first impression she had recorded of him.
On that original day, Declan had been flawless in every regard—from his polished appearance to the heavy, dignified aura that enhanced his striking looks.
This unrecognizable transformation led her to a bone-chilling realization.
“In exchange for what I am granting you, there are things you must endure.”
The vague outline of the Goddess’s cryptic warning began to take shape.
Could it be? Was it possible that Declan had also...?
[Vanessa] "I... I have to..."
A red alert began to blare in her mind, telling her she had to flee.
[Vanessa] "Excuse me, I need a moment..."
She had promised Elliot she would stay put, but she couldn't keep that word.
She clutched the fabric of her dress and began to back away from the table with trembling steps.
Just before she could turn away, Declan—possessing the sharpened senses of a beast—snapped his head in her direction.
By the time she realized their eyes had met, she was already running.
She squeezed through the crowd and barely managed to escape the banquet hall.
She hurried along the long, grey corridor, her pace so frantic that any onlooker would think she was fleeing a predator intent on devouring her.
A stray beam of moonlight revealed her struggling form as she ran. Her high heels and the heavy skirts of her dress were cumbersome, but she couldn't stop.
Thump, thump.
Her heart hammered against her ribs as if she were hyperventilating.
She ran without any sense of where she was going or how far she needed to be.
[Vanessa] "Eek!"
A sudden, swift movement blurred beside her, and a powerful grip clamped onto her shoulder. Her body was spun around, her long golden hair whipping across her vision.
Thrust against the wall, she let out a strangled gasp, her breath hitching in her throat.
The coldness of the stone wall against her back made her fingers curl, but that was nothing compared to the overwhelming intensity of the man pinning her down.
Her heart leaped like a trapped bird caught in the very snare she had tried so desperately to avoid.
[Declan] "..."
A cold draft swept past. A familiar scent—one she had known for years—pierced her senses. A deep, distant fragrance that brought to mind pine trees in the dead of winter.
The fury in his blue eyes was terrifying.
The moonlight pooled in his pupils, reflecting a sharp, metallic light that made him look even more menacing.
Declan stared intensely at every inch of her face, his gaze lost and searching.
A suffocating silence weighed down on them both.
[Declan] "...Either the rest of the world has gone mad."
Finally, his lips parted in a savage snarl.
[Declan] "Or I have finally lost my mind."
[Vanessa] "..."
[Declan] "I genuinely couldn't tell the difference until now."
His low voice tightened around her throat and heart like a chain. The pressure was so immense that it was difficult even to swallow.
Her curled fists tightened.
She wanted to shove his hands away immediately, but his volatile aura made her freeze, fearing he might snap at any second. Memories of the times he had stained her world with blood flickered through her mind, making her skin crawl.
As the silence stretched on, her suspicions turned into a cold certainty.
If this were truly her first time meeting him after returning to the past, those deep, heavy emotions swirling in his eyes would be impossible.
Which meant...
[Declan] "I see it now."
He growled, pinning her wrists even more firmly against the wall.
Just as she had found traces of dissonance in him, he had recognized the truth in her.
'Things you must endure.'
What the Goddess had spoken of was exactly what she had to face now. She was not the only one who had returned.
The one who remembered a relationship so twisted and tangled that one wouldn't dare try to unravel it...
[Declan] "I’m not the only one who isn't crazy."
...was Declan.
What is Rohodre up to?
That was the only thought in her mind as she felt the ache in her wrists. To think the Goddess would play such a cruel joke while claiming she wanted Vanessa to have a revenge without regrets.
Looking back, that divine smile wasn't a sign of benevolence; it was the gleeful anticipation of a spectator waiting for a show. She wanted to kick herself for ever thinking the Goddess was merciful.
Would it have been better to pretend I knew nothing from the start?
That brief regret vanished instantly.
If Declan had also returned, such a pretense was meaningless. With his temperament—needing to hold everything in his palm and manipulate it to his whim—would he have ever left her alone?
He would have approached her, shaking her world repeatedly until she was once again his to command.
More importantly... with such deep resentment rooted in her heart, could she have ever ignored him?
Because she remembered the life before.
Because she remembered his cruelty.
Because she remembered exactly how he had pushed her to the brink and strangled the life out of her.
The only thing that had fueled her through those days by his side was her rage.
Even if she had tried to act composed, her behavior would have betrayed her the moment she faced him.
...No. This is actually...
As she reflected on the Goddess' words, Vanessa realized this situation favored her more than him. This was the opportunity for revenge that Rohodre had provided.
There was no point in pouring out her emotions to a version of him that knew nothing. A perfect revenge could only be achieved if he was himself—if he remembered every single thing he had done to her.
[Vanessa] "..."
Her trembling slowly ceased. She met his gaze with eyes that had turned icy cold.
[Vanessa] "Let go of me."
[Declan] "Not until you explain."
His bloodshot eyes narrowed fiercely.
[Declan] "Explain exactly what kind of wretched situation this is."
She twisted her arms, trying to wrench her wrists from his grasp, but he wouldn't budge. Instead, the struggle left dark red marks on her fair skin.
Anger flared within her, but she knew she couldn't let herself be swept away by it. She refused to be dragged around by him any longer.
She took a deep breath, then forced a chilling smile.
[Vanessa] "Do you really need an explanation?"
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "You seem to understand the situation perfectly well yourself."
Declan ground his teeth like a savage beast.
Ignoring his raw fury, she continued calmly.
[Vanessa] "The Goddess is angry. She is displeased that you trampled over our family as you pleased. That is why this chance was given to me."
It wasn't a lie. Hadn't Rohodre said herself that she found the man who destroyed the Rohawk family quite loathsome?
However, to Declan, who didn't know the full story, it sounded like nonsense. He let out a mocking laugh.
[Declan] "Stop spewing such absurdities."
He leaned in closer, his face haggard and dry as if he hadn't tasted water in an age.
Seeing him up close, his usually composed and arrogant face was more unraveled than she had imagined.
[Declan] "A chance?"
[Vanessa] "..."
[Declan] "There is no 'chance' for you unless I allow it."
The words he spat through his teeth felt like a direct insult. It was the same attitude as before—treating her like a pet that had to obey his every whim.
She remembered the times she had collapsed at his feet, gasping for air. Back then, she had been so powerless that even a passing breeze could have knocked her over.
But the situation had changed, and the board had been completely reset.
She felt a surge of heat in her chest and swung her foot.
[Declan] "Ugh!"
Declan winced and stumbled back as her pointed heel connected sharply with his shin.
Taking advantage of the opening, she slipped from the grip that had bound her like a rope and hurried into the hallway.
The moonlight streaming between the pillars illuminated her. After being trapped in the darkness created by his massive frame, simply standing in the light allowed her to breathe again.
[Vanessa] "You are the one speaking nonsense."
His eyes sharpened into icy slits.
Seeing him reveal his anger so openly gave her a strange sense of satisfaction. Hadn't she always been desperate to see even a single crack in his perfect mask?
[Vanessa] "There is nothing between us anymore."
The smile faded from her face, leaving only a cold, expressionless mask as she looked at him.
[Vanessa] "I am not Vanessa Vinkart. I am Vanessa Rohawk."
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