Acidity of Regret Ch 51
- Jan 8
- 8 min read
Just as Vanessa had grown up watching the Count as her father, the Count knew his only daughter just as well.
Strangely, as she spoke of the man who was to be her husband, he saw no trace of love in her eyes. Her gaze felt even more hollow than when she looked at her father, and the Count couldn't help but ask the question.
His words pierced her heart like a dagger. It ruthlessly exposed the guilt she had been trying to ignore—the fact that she was using Hayden.
Vanessa set her teacup down and met his gaze.
Count Rohawk would likely take her side regardless of her answer. Even if she suddenly asked to call off the marriage, he would listen.
[Vanessa] "Yes, of course."
That was exactly why she had to let the empty words slip through her lips once more.
Guilt scratched at her insides like thorns, but she stubbornly ignored it, driven by a single-minded devotion to protecting her family.
[Vanessa] "I wouldn't be spending so much time with him if I didn't have feelings for him in the first place."
Though she was clearly speaking to her father, she felt the strange illusion that she was trying to convince herself.
It was too early to tell. Even if Hayden didn't make her heart flutter right now... who was to say that wouldn't change as they spent more time together?
Would it, actually? Could it really happen?
She didn't know, and that uncertainty made her anxious. In truth, she lacked confidence.
She had learned what love was through Declan; she knew exactly how vibrant and diverse those emotions could be. That was why she was so terrified. She feared that she might never feel that way for Hayden.
Her feelings for Declan had been tainted and covered in hatred. Yet, when she stood before him, her heart thundered, and her entire body tensed. Whether it was a lingering memory in her foolish heart or simply the heat of resentment and anger...
Then why is there no reaction at all when it comes to Hayden?
[Count] "Then I am relieved."
The Count looked as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. While his doubts hadn't been fully cleared, he didn't want to question his daughter's words. If she said it was so, he was willing to let it be.
The topic changed, and the atmosphere shifted quickly. However, Vanessa couldn't shake the restless feeling in her heart.
The once-fragrant tea now tasted only of bitterness.
[Vanessa] "I wonder if it’s going to rain."
She looked up at the sky. The weather was unusually gloomy. On a day like this, she would have preferred to stay home, but she had an appointment with Hayden.
A date with him felt less like an exciting event and more like a series of missions that had to be completed. It carried an obligatory weight she couldn't refuse.
She began to dress herself slowly.
Today, they were scheduled to see a play at the capital's theater. However, Vanessa didn't know the plot, nor even the title. Even now, as she waited for Hayden, she felt no curiosity. Perhaps that was why the date felt so much like a chore.
In the distance, a massive carriage decorated with gold frames appeared. A white flag bearing the Imperial crest fluttered in the wind. It came to a halt in front of her. The door opened with some haste, and brilliant silver hair shimmered before her eyes.
[Hayden] "My apologies, Lady Rohawk. The time..."
Hayden, who was about to apologize for being late, stopped and stared blankly at Vanessa as she stood there. Regaining his senses, he looked embarrassed. The tips of his ears, visible through his swaying silver hair, were flushed red.
Hayden often looked dazed like that when he saw her—as if he were falling for her all over again.
[Hayden] "Was it cold? You should have waited inside."
[Vanessa] "I only just came out, so it’s quite alright."
She took his hand and stepped up into the carriage.
The interior felt both spacious and cramped at the same time. The reason for such a contradictory feeling was that there was someone else inside the carriage—someone she hadn't expected to be there.
She froze unnaturally when she spotted Declan sitting with his legs crossed. Resting his chin on his hand, he stared at her and let out a smirk.
[Declan] "I’m overwhelmed by such a warm welcome."
His tone was unmistakably sarcastic. She couldn't hide her flustered expression as she looked at Hayden.
[Vanessa] "Hayden, why is the Grand Duke..."
[Hayden] "Ah, Declan mentioned he wanted to come along. In fact, he was the one who suggested the play. I heard you two cleared up the misunderstanding during your last meal together. Is that not the case?"
Cleared up the misunderstanding?
A passing dog would have laughed at that.
Their relationship wasn't something that could be untangled like a knotted thread.
Furthermore, hadn't their last lunch ended in utter disaster? Memories of burnt food, clattering silverware, and her own figure fleeing the scene flashed through her mind.
She looked at Declan with eyes full of suspicion and wariness.
[Vanessa] "…Yes, we did."
Whatever his hidden motive was, she was grateful he had kept quiet about the lunch. She didn't want to give Hayden any reason to look into her past with Declan. She wanted their connection to be defined as nothing more than an accidental acquaintance.
[Hayden] "Since you'll likely see much of each other in the future, I hope this opportunity brings you closer."
[Vanessa] "Pardon? Much of each other?"
[Hayden] "Declan plans to stay in the Empire for a while."
A chill ran down her spine, sharp enough to make her hair stand on end. For her, it was thunderous, devastating news.
[Hayden] "He said he wants to get to know you better, so I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to spend some time together. He’s a bit prickly, but he’s a good person at heart."
Hayden whispered playfully, but Vanessa couldn't even manage a response. The thought of seeing him often clouded her mind with darkness.
[Hayden] "Shall we go, then?"
Before long, the carriage set off.
Sitting beside Hayden, she stole a glance at the man opposite her.
Declan was dressed neatly, but his eyes were bloodshot as if he hadn't slept for days. His skin looked rough and neglected. Amidst his orderly appearance, subtle signs of disarray could be found.
Even so, his gaze remained fiercely sharp.
...Why isn't he saying anything?
Honestly, putting the lunch aside, it was surprising that he was keeping quiet about their past relationship.
In everyone's memories, their marriage had been completely erased. To be precise, it was as if it had never happened. While there was no physical evidence, given his volatile aura, it wouldn't have been strange if he had started ranting to Hayden right then and there.
At least it's a relief. He didn't do anything so foolish.
Whatever scheme he was plotting, it was the right decision. Raising a fuss about something without evidence would only make him look ridiculous. Besides, even if he did, she intended to deny it thoroughly. Everyone would believe her, especially since she was already engaged.
More than that, it was better if such a thing didn't happen at all. Not only would such rumors affect her marriage prospects, but Declan wouldn't escape unscathed either. She was grateful he had enough rationality left to make that judgment.
However, even if he was silent now, he was a man whose heart could turn on a dime. He remained an unpredictable and nerve-wracking presence.
Barely suppressing her anxiety, Vanessa desperately hoped this outing would end without incident.
The carriage was racing toward the theater.
[Hayden] "By the way, Declan, are your injuries alright now?"
It wasn't Declan who flinched at Hayden's concerned question, but Vanessa.
Actually, that was the very thing that had been bothering her since she stepped into the carriage: the wound on the corner of Declan's mouth. It was undoubtedly the mark left when Vanessa had bitten him during their last lunch. The scar clung to his lip like a dried scab.
[Declan] "Ah."
Declan let out a low groan and traced his lip with his finger. He frowned as if it were still stinging. His actions felt pointed, as if he wanted her to notice, making Vanessa's chest tighten.
[Hayden] "How on earth did you get that wound?"
When Hayden asked while clicking his tongue, Declan looked at her and smirked.
Vanessa, who had her head lowered, felt his gaze boring into her forehead. However, thinking it would look strange to keep avoiding his eyes, she lifted her chin with a calm expression.
The moment their eyes met, he answered.
[Declan] "A cat scratched me."
[Hayden] "…Do you keep a cat?"
[Declan] "It’s been a while."
She couldn't control her expression at his nonchalant reply. It was a relief she was sitting next to Hayden; otherwise, her crumbling composure would have been caught.
A cat.
She was appalled that he would compare her to a mere animal. It seemed he had a natural talent for getting under her skin. Then again, wasn't he the one who had suffocated her until she reached the point of death?
Declan's eyes glinted sharply.
[Declan] "I adored it and spoiled it, yet it dared to run away."
[Hayden] "Really? Did you find it?"
[Declan] "I found it, but I haven't quite managed to catch it yet."
You found it, but you haven't caught it?
Hayden tilted his head, failing to understand the meaning. But instead of explaining kindly, Declan added in a low voice:
[Declan] "But it's only a matter of time."
[Vanessa] "……."
[Declan] "It can't live without me."
If she hadn't vowed not to react to anything he said, she would have surely let out a hollow laugh. Every single word he spoke was steeped in arrogance.
Declan knew exactly how she felt. He knew the humiliating, groveling emotions she felt while waiting for him. He remembered how miserable she was, waiting alone in the bedroom like a pet or following his every command.
The fact that he was stabbing at her this way made her blood boil. She clenched her fists tight and managed to force a smile.
[Vanessa] "Oh dear. You must be very worried, Grand Duke."
[Declan] "……."
[Vanessa] "But from what I know, cats are naturally free animals that do not recognize masters."
[Declan] "……."
[Vanessa] "Finding it might be one thing, but you will find it quite difficult to keep it bound to you."
Even if you found me, don't think for a second you can bind me like before.
Vanessa hid her intent behind a gentle tone. Fortunately, the message was delivered; Declan's eyes narrowed fiercely. A thick tension flowed between their clashing gazes.
[Hayden] "Yes, perhaps you should raise an animal that's more affectionate toward people instead."
Hayden's relaxed tone cut right through the tension.
Vanessa was grateful for Hayden's relative lack of intuition. Feeling exhausted already, she let out a quiet sigh.
In the meantime, the carriage arrived at the magnificent theater.
Just sharing the carriage had been enough of an ordeal. Yet, even inside the theater, she couldn't escape Declan's side.
Upon entering the VIP box hidden by velvet curtains, she found three chairs waiting.
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