Acidity of Regret Ch 60
- Jan 17
- 7 min read
She turned away with cold indifference. His feelings meant nothing to her.
A moment later, the ranks of knights began to disperse. Hayden emerged from his tent, following a servant’s guidance toward the inner arena.
She stood up immediately to follow him. The roar of the crowd faded behind her as she hurried away.
She was walking quickly through the arena’s underground hallway with Dina when a sudden, firm grip tightened around her wrist. She let out a sharp cry of alarm.
However, the moment she saw who had grabbed her, her gaze turned icy.
It was Declan Vinkart.
Only moments ago, he had been standing in the center of the arena. She had seen a maid approaching him with a flower basket; she couldn't understand how he had reached this hallway so quickly.
[Vanessa] "I have nothing to say to you."
She stepped back, her expression making it clear that his very presence was repulsive.
She glared at him, but realizing she didn't have time to waste, she tried to wrench her arm free.
But he was faster.
[Dina] "Oh! My lady!"
Before Dina could even react, he scooped her up and turned on his heel.
[Vanessa] "What do you think you’re doing? Let me go! Put me down right now!"
[Declan] "If I let you go, will you just run back to him?"
She was carried like a piece of luggage. She pounded on his back with all her might, but he didn't even flinch.
She felt a surge of regret for dismissing Elliot’s concerns earlier that day. He had been called away by the Count, and she had refused his offer to send another knight in his place.
Declan finally set her down after entering a nearby empty room.
The moment her feet hit the floor, she swung her hand. A sharp crack echoed through the small space as she slapped his cheek.
[Vanessa] "How long do you intend to act as you please?"
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "It’s time to stop this! Do you have any idea how exhausting this childish behavior is?"
His head remained tilted from the force of the blow for a moment before he slowly turned back to face her. He reached behind him and pulled the door shut. The shadows near the entrance cast his face into darkness.
The sound of the lock clicking into place filled the room.
[Vanessa] "What are you—"
[Declan] "Should I beg?"
He spoke the words before she could even question his actions. In the darkness, his eyes glinted like the edge of a blade.
[Declan] "Do you want me to kneel?"
He took a step closer. As he moved out of the deepest shadows, the sharp line of his jaw became visible.
Outside, someone pounded frantically on the door. Dina’s panicked voice reached them, calling out for her mistress.
Despite the noise, she found herself unable to speak.
[Declan] "Should I stay on my knees and plead for your forgiveness? Should I tell you how wrong I was?"
Now that he had stepped fully into the light, she could see him clearly.
[Declan] "Tell me, what am I supposed to do?"
[Vanessa] "..."
[Declan] "Damn it! Just tell me what I have to do!"
Before she realized it, he was standing directly in front of her. She instinctively stepped back, but he caught her wrists to stop her from retreating. She let out a soft groan at his tight grip, and his hands immediately softened.
[Declan] "...What will it take for you to look at me again?"
His voice was raw, sounding more like a wounded animal’s cry than human speech. It was the sound of someone in deep pain, lashing out because they didn't know how to fix it. He was a man who only knew how to express his sorrow through force.
[Declan] "Don’t ignore me."
[Vanessa] "Declan."
[Declan] "Stop pretending you don't love me."
His stubbornness was beyond belief.
[Declan] "Stop being so indifferent toward me."
It was a pathetic display for a man of his standing.
[Declan] "Don't treat me like a stranger. Stop acting as if we are nothing to each other."
His voice was low, heavy with a weight that seemed to press into the very floor.
It was clear that his recent behavior change hadn't been an act. He was no longer the man who tried to overpower her when she first returned to the past, nor the man who had spitefully put out a cigar on her dinner plate. Yet, he remained arrogant and overbearing.
She kept her face emotionless and twisted her arm out of his grasp.
[Vanessa] "You still..."
As she pulled away, his hands fell limply. They trembled in the air, unable to catch or hold anything. She wondered if his heart was shaking with that same instability.
[Vanessa] "You still haven't come to your senses, have you?"
In contrast to his frantic energy, her voice was perfectly calm. Her composure seemed to strike him like a death sentence. His face hardened, and what little color remained in his pale complexion drained away.
Even then, the fierce light in his eyes didn't fade. She focused on that light. To her, that was the real Declan Vinkart. She told herself that his current vulnerability was nothing more than a mask designed to deceive her.
[Vanessa] "If you had truly realized what you've done, you would already be doing those things."
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "You would be begging. You would be on your knees, crying for mercy."
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "But you aren't doing that, are you?"
Seeing his face twist in agony gave her a strange, uncomfortable sense of satisfaction. It was a confusing feeling—both good and bad at the same time.
But she preferred this confusion to being miserable because of him.
[Vanessa] "If you were actually sorry, you wouldn't be asking me what you should do. You would have done it already. Wouldn't you?"
His expression contorted as if he had been deeply insulted. His pride was wounded, and he let his emotions show plainly. Even in his weakened state, his presence was overwhelming.
She looked at him. His ruined, weary face reminded her of how she had once looked. Back when she was a prisoner in her own bedroom, she had removed every mirror. She couldn't stand the sight of herself falling apart while the rest of the castle remained perfect.
Every day back then had been a living hell. She was breathing, but she wasn't alive. Now, he wore that same suffocating expression. He looked like a man living only because he hadn't died yet, standing on the edge of a precipice.
Seeing his instability only made her anger burn hotter. It felt so unfair.
[Vanessa] "You... you don't have the right to be in pain."
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "What could you possibly be suffering from?"
The commotion outside grew louder. She knew she had to open the door and show everyone that she was safe. But her symptoms were returning because of this man. Her judgment was failing, and her reason was drowning in a rising tide of hatred.
[Vanessa] "Unlike me, who lost my family, my house, and my love—what have you lost?"
Her chest heaved with every breath.
[Vanessa] "You aren't sorry at all. This shameless attitude is your real answer."
[Declan] "...You."
His voice, sounding like a lost traveler, reached her ears. It was filled with a bitterness that was hard to ignore.
[Declan] "I lost you."
He covered his eyes with one hand as he spoke.
In the past, such a devoted statement would have made her heart race. Now, it just seemed ridiculous. More than that, it felt like an insult. It made her blood boil.
He was still as selfish as ever.
She stared at him for a long time before suddenly taking a step forward.
[Vanessa] "You said you wanted to talk, didn't you?"
Her voice was as sharp as a needle.
[Vanessa] "Fine. Let’s talk."
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "Why did you ask me to marry you?"
His fingers twitched. He slowly raised his head. When their eyes met, she felt a dull throb in the finger she had scratched the night before.
After the tea party and Helia’s story, she hadn't been able to sleep. A terrifying thought had kept her awake—a dark theory that made her skin crawl.
The reason Declan wanted to marry her... the reason he wanted to keep her by his side...
[Vanessa] "...No."
[Declan] "..."
[Vanessa] "When did you find out that Hayden loved me?"
His rejection to dinner invitation from the Emperor and Empress. The scandal that closed the First Garden. The tragic love of the late Grand Duke for the Empress. The ruined bedroom in the Grand Duke’s castle. The discrimination he had faced. The family had been destroyed beyond repair.
The pieces of the puzzle she had ignored for so long flashed before her eyes.
The moment she asked her second question, his eyes wavered violently. He looked like a flickering candle in a storm.
She didn't need to hear him speak. Sometimes, an action was the only answer needed. The shock on his face told her everything she needed to know. It was more accurate than any words could be.
[Vanessa] "Ha..."
A hollow laugh escaped her lips. Her green eyes clouded over with deep, sinking resentment.
[Vanessa] "It was revenge. You wanted to get back at Hayden."
This was the question she had buried deep inside her for so long.
Why did he do this to me? Why did he destroy my family and then marry me?
The story she heard yesterday filled the void. The tiny gap that remained was closed by Declan’s reaction.
His target had never been her. It had always been Hayden.
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