Acidity of Regret Ch 74
- Jan 27
- 8 min read
He often had the word "sorry" on his lips, but this time, it felt different.
Previously, he had apologized out of a constant, anxious fear of upsetting her; now, it felt as though he were asking for her understanding for the uncontrollable affection he was beginning to display.
Hayden was changing, bit by bit.
Even without searching deeply for the reason, she could see it. He was now filled with a fierce determination to sway her heart toward him, leading him to act with newfound boldness.
Suddenly, he took her hand. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of her white hand before fastening something around her wrist. It was a bracelet adorned with a gemstone meticulously carved into the shape of a flower.
[Hayden] "I wanted to give this to you at the very moment of my victory, but since I missed that chance, please accept this at least."
The dim light caught the facets of the gem, making it sparkle. Though the jewelry weighed no more than a few grams, the bracelet felt incredibly heavy on her wrist. It was a burden of the heart that she could not easily cast aside.
[Vanessa] "Thank... thank you."
[Hayden] "And there is something I wish to discuss with you."
[Vanessa] "To discuss?"
[Hayden] "I believe we can move the state wedding forward."
If she were to say her heart didn’t sink at that moment, it would be a lie.
As if to prove her shock, she lifted her head abruptly, her face drained of color, and turned slightly pale.
He caught her reaction—one that leaned far more toward rejection than joy, and he struggled to hide a bitter smile.
However, since she had already chosen to call off the marriage once before, he felt he had no right to blame her. This was the weight of an unrequited love that he had to endure.
[Vanessa] "Ah, the state wedding... you mean..."
She knew she had to remain calm, but her voice failed to remain steady in the face of such unexpected news.
[Hayden] "Preparations will still be necessary, but I believe everything can be finalized within two months at the latest. This means we can move the date up by at least four months from our original schedule."
[Vanessa] "..."
[Hayden] "Of course, I have no intention of forcing you. I am only mentioning it because a sudden opportunity arose, and because you were the one who initially wanted to hold the wedding as early as possible."
He added further explanations to emphasize his sincerity. His voice remained smooth and composed, a stark contrast to her bewildered state. Her mind, however, had become so chaotic that she didn't even have the luxury to contemplate his hidden intentions.
Two months...
That meant if she agreed now, she would be married to Hayden in just sixty days.
She would become his wife.
Had she heard this immediately after her regression, she would have accepted without a second thought. It would have been the perfect opportunity to escape Declan’s grasp once and for all.
But now, she realized that such a choice had been a mistake. Every moment spent with Hayden reminded her that she shouldn't treat him this way.
She was trapped in a state of limbo—unable to move forward, yet unable to retreat. Meanwhile, Hayden remained steadfast, insisting on staying by her side.
It was she who had caused things to reach this point. She was the one who had allowed their relationships to become so inextricably tangled and complex.
If Hayden had to bear the weight of his unrequited love, then she had to face the consequences of her own choices. She had to take responsibility for failing to cast Declan off through her own strength and instead dragging others into her mess.
[Vanessa] "...Think."
Because of that guilt, she couldn't refuse him outright.
She felt as if she were standing before countless branching paths. Marriage to Hayden might be the answer, but then again, it might not. She found it equally impossible to imagine what would happen after breaking the engagement. Since she couldn't see what lay at the end of any path, she was terrified to take a single step.
Yet time continued to flow, and circumstances would move forward without waiting for her. A result was inevitable.
[Vanessa] "I'll think about it..."
He offered a gentle smile, appearing relieved that she hadn't rejected him on the spot. Still, as he looked at the confusion etched onto her face, his own heart grew troubled.
He was well aware that he was pushing her. However, from a certain point, his desire to possess her had begun to outweigh his consideration for her feelings.
Yes—it had started the moment he learned of the relationship between Declan and Vanessa.
He suddenly felt a gaze and turned his eyes toward the area outside the balcony. Through a gap in the parted curtains, he saw a man standing still. Although the distance was great and the man wore a mask, he had a faint inkling of who it was.
Declan Vinkart.
[Hayden] "Vanessa."
No matter how much he tried to remain calm, his insides twisted with resentment whenever he thought about what Declan had done to her in his absence.
The feeling he had experienced upon hearing that Declan had showered her with a mountain of roses was particularly biting. His mouth had gone dry, and his chest had burned. It was a sensation he had never felt in all his life, leaving him profoundly confused and unsettled.
He didn't know when he and Declan, who had once been so close, had ended up in such a confrontation over a woman. What was certain, however, was that he would not let Declan shake her heart any further.
The greed he felt sparked a flame of impulse. Hayden began to lean his body toward her. A deep shadow, cast by his silhouette, fell over her clear face.
[Vanessa] "..."
As they became so close that they could feel each other’s breath, He let out a hollow, involuntary laugh.
[Hayden] "...Even for me."
[Vanessa] "..."
[Hayden] "If you make a face that shows such obvious dislike, I can't help but feel hurt."
At his low protest, her eyes widened in alarm.
The moment she realized he was trying to kiss her, her entire body had gone rigid. She hadn't even had the chance to realize what kind of expression she was making, let alone think about fixing her face if it were something that might offend him.
[Vanessa] "I-It’s not that I dislike it."
[Hayden] "Which means you don’t particularly like it, either."
[Vanessa] "..."
Her mouth snapped shut.
She had expected that if she were to cultivate even a superficial romance with him, a moment of physical intimacy like this would eventually come. However, the expectation and the reality were vastly different.
She bit her lower lip, her face filled with uncertainty. Rather than feeling a fluttering heart or excitement, she felt only an overwhelming sense of being burdened.
[Hayden] "I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
[Vanessa] "No, it’s... I’m the one who is sorry."
Since their brief three-way encounter with Declan, she found herself apologizing to Hayden more frequently. Every attitude she showed him felt so sinful that she couldn't help but offer her regrets aloud. Failing to accept even this small gesture of intimacy was no exception.
Hayden quietly studied her face, which had turned as white as a sheet, looking as if she might collapse at any moment, while she apologized.
Whenever she stood before him, she was always anxious, like a child hiding a secret. Even now, when he knew that she and Declan were on quite awkward terms, she remained the same.
Every time this happened, her previous desire to call off the state wedding would likely resurface within her. Even though he wanted to put her at ease, the relationship refused to progress as he wished.
Instead, he shifted his gaze over her shoulder. The figure that had looked like Declan had vanished without a trace. Since she hadn't pushed him away, it would have surely looked like they were sharing a kiss from that distance.
That was enough to satisfy him.
[Hayden] "Shall we head back in? I believe the festivities are about to begin in earnest."
He acted deliberately cheerful, as if telling her not to worry, and led Vanessa off the balcony. He didn't forget to help her put her mask back on before they entered.
As he had said, upon returning to the hall, the orchestra’s music—which had been drifting through the air in a leisurely, relaxed manner—had become more upbeat, transforming the atmosphere into something far more refreshing.
Men and women began to gather on the large dance floor. Amidst the crowd, Hayden led her with practiced skill. Under his guidance, she was able to find a bit of enjoyment in the movement.
The music soon changed its tempo, and a specific phrase began to repeat. This was the moment in the dance where couples would move together, but at the end of each phrase, they would naturally switch partners. The dance would continue this way until everyone had rotated back to their original positions.
The melody shifted once, and Hayden moved away; it changed several more times, and her partners were swapped in a seamless, fluid motion.
Then, at one point, a man approached and took her by the hand, pulling her toward him.
Before she could even identify the strange sense of déjà vu she felt from his touch, she flinched at the scent emanating from the man facing her.
It was a deep, lingering fragrance that brought to mind coniferous trees growing beneath the quiet landscape of a biting winter wind. Even without looking up—and knowing he would be wearing a mask even if she did—she knew exactly who he was.
It was Declan.
[Vanessa] "..."
The music around them grew slower than before, but every note felt as though it were being pulled taut with tension.
If it had been anyone else, there would have been no issue. However, the moment she realized it was Declan who was facing her and holding her hand, every one of her senses twisted in discomfort. Even the air floating between them felt intrusive, as if it were pricking her skin.
Memories of the times she had faced him and poured out her sharp, thorn-like emotions began to surface one by one. The mere act of remembering made her feel exhausted, and Vanessa bit her lip hard.
Why does this situation keep repeating itself?
She didn't want to exhaust herself with useless emotions any longer, nor did she want to be swayed by him.
But she couldn't simply storm off the dance floor. Even though she wore a mask, it wasn't a perfect shield to hide her identity. Anyone looking closely enough would be able to recognize her. If she did something to draw attention here, the scandalous rumors—the kind that belonged in a trashy weekly tabloid—would only grow more sensational.
In any case, the dance wouldn't be long. She just had to endure and ignore him for a few moments until the music ended, as she had always done.
However, the fact that he was clinging so closely to her was bothersome. They were so close she could feel his breath. Vanessa tried to push his hand away naturally, making it look like part of the dance.
At that moment, Declan’s large hand wrapped around her waist. That touch, which had moved with startling speed, fell upon her as she went rigid with rejection; he hesitated for a heartbeat before softening his grip.
Having been determined not to look at him once she realized his identity, she had been stubbornly staring only at his chest. Now, she inadvertently lifted her head.
Her eyes locked with Declan’s as he was already staring intensely at her face.
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