TSMMT Ch 121

Ridiculous Conclusion

It was a ridiculous conclusion. In the end, everything she possessed was destroyed by the slave she had saved. Forced into such a state, she struggled to turn away from her feelings, and this was the result of that denial.

Too much time had passed, far too much. In this second life, Dianna deliberately blocked out her feelings for Guiscard, striving never to dwell on them. Human emotions were treacherous, making self-deception frighteningly easy.

She convinced herself that she felt nothing, pretending their bond was merely a dry, loveless arrangement. That was how she deceived herself. She ignored his words, his gaze, and his actions in this second life, ignoring everything.

Her feelings for him were flawed from the start, so she resolved to discard them.

She chose not to love Guiscard. That was all.

Yet, he invaded her world once more without permission, pulling her back into his sphere.

Acting as an agent of fate, Guiscard Lodbrog shattered the despairing destiny looming over Dianna without her consent.

Solely for the single reason that he loved her.

---

Dianna stared blankly out the window. The sky was clear, carrying only a gentle breeze. Leaving the door open, she remained lost in thought.

[Guiscard] "Ann."

The man who confessed his love and the woman who heard it stared at each other with gaunt, exhausted faces.

[Guiscard] "Ann."

He called out to her by that name. It felt as though ages had passed since she last saw his face. She remembered the last moment, a few days ago, when he confessed to her before abruptly walking out upon seeing her expression.

[Guiscard] "Ann..."

At the repetition of her name, she turned to look at him. The man she had resolved not to love called out to her yearningly within her line of sight.

[Guiscard] "The Panborough guests leave today."

[Dianna] "Yes."

She nodded quietly. Guiscard extended a hand toward her. Taking it, she felt his fingers grip hers tightly. She recalled the few instances in this second life when his hands had trembled.

What emotions had he harbored back then?

[Guiscard] "Why aren't you eating your meals?"

[Dianna] "I am not hungry."

[Guiscard] "If you dislike dining with me..."

[Dianna] "It is not that."

She brushed his concern aside listlessly. She noticed his bangs had grown long again, nearly obscuring his eyes. Observing his unkempt hair, a sudden impulse urged her to smooth it back, but she pulled her hand away.

I must be losing my mind. Absolutely insane.

Her expression hardened back into cold detachment.

[Dianna] "I will not cause you worry."

[Guiscard] "..."

[Dianna] "I will not forget your kindness toward my friends. Panborough couldn't have been a pleasant nation to you, yet I know you showed hospitality to its nobility for my sake."

She deliberately steered the conversation elsewhere, away from the two of them, focusing instead on their surroundings. She acted as though no confession had ever occurred, playing the roles of king and queen perfectly.

[Dianna] "I shall prepare."

Rising from her seat, she finished dressing and set out to see the Panborough guests off. Though she had abstained from the final banquet under the pretext of illness, the event concluded smoothly thanks to her initial preparations.

Philip had reportedly departed at dawn the previous day without offering a final farewell. Dianna felt no resentment over his quiet exit, only a lingering bitterness. Instead, only her friends refused to leave her side until the very last moment.

[Celano] "We will return again."

[Novara] "Take care of yourself."

[Carlea] "Don't cry. Don't fall ill, alright?"

With reddened eyes, her friends held her hands tightly. Dianna nodded quietly. Looking back repeatedly as if leaving their hearts behind, they finally boarded the carriage.

Watching the carriage depart, she maintained a dry expression. The festival had ended, and people had to move forward with their lives. Dianna, too, couldn't remain buried in her past.

[Dianna] "I am not returning to Panborough."

She spoke without looking at Guiscard. Naturally, he must have known; she had made no preparations whatsoever to pack while the Panborough guests prepared to leave. He offered no response.

[Dianna] "However, I will not remain here either."

[Guiscard] "Then the place you wish to return to is clear."

[Dianna] "..."

She remained silent. She didn't wish to look at his face, nor did she know what to say. Whenever she looked at him, something clumsily held back threatened to burst forth, swirling her emotions into chaos.

[Dianna] "I wish to rest. Please allow me."

Because he insisted he was not seeking vengeance against her, Dianna could indulge in such lethargy. Though she didn't hear his exact response, she assumed he had agreed.

Retreating into her chamber, Dianna shut out the world and sank deeply into her own emotions.

Contrary to her expectations, the shock of having her trauma exposed faded. Instead, she constantly replayed his confession in her mind. At some point, her recurring nightmares vanished, leaving only his words and his gaze lingering in her memory.

Though she had called it horrifying, why did she keep revisiting and analyzing it?

Like a young girl confessed to by the boy she loved, she replayed that moment again and again... almost as if savoring it.

Yet, that damned Guiscard seemed determined to carry out whatever he resolved. That bastard didn't even grant her time to think.

---

After confessing to Dianna, Guiscard turned to alcohol with increasing frequency. Though he used to drink during his mercenary days, he had barely touched liquor since becoming king and taking her as his wife, remembering how much she detested Emil's drunkenness.

The wine favored by nobility was fragrant and sweet. As intoxication set in, his mind drifted back to the day of his confession.

What expression had she worn when he told her to leave because he loved her? She had burst into a sharp, hysterical laugh, weeping as if listening to the most horrifying words on earth.

He knew his action had been the gravest mistake. He should have suppressed his confession. If he intended to set her free, he should have let her go in silence.

The reason he had hidden his feelings was simple: confessing them felt pointless. He had already defied Dianna's wishes by killing her father and harming her brother.

Even now, nothing had changed. Dianna Brienne had suffered a horrific nightmare in her attempt to save him.

He had never forgotten the brutal cruelty inflicted upon himself. Consequently, he understood all too well the horror she had endured.

Telling such a woman that he loved her was nothing more than dumping his own vile emotions onto her. That momentary lapse of rationality had ruined everything to the very end.

Even so, he had to undo it. He had no choice.

Guiscard stared quietly at the sky. Their relationship was built on nothing but mutual scars.

Because he had brought Dianna here by force, she never opened her heart. Believing she was enduring punishment, she tiptoed around others and suffered contempt. Desiring only death, she couldn't even bring herself to ask him for help. It was entirely his fault, his fault for forcing her into the role of queen.

Even if time turned back and they restarted, Dianna Brienne and Guiscard Lodbrog could never be together.

Tears slipped silently from his eyes. Once that reality crystallized in his mind, he realized there was nothing left for him to do.

Tears streamed endlessly down his jawline.

*****

[Adel] "Dian!"

Her eyes widened as she looked at the man calling her name with bright warmth. It was Adelheit Blake. Appearing before her during her walk, he stood by her side with his violet eyes gleaming as brightly as ever.

[Dianna] "Adel?"

[Adel] "Hehe, I have arrived at last!"

He offered a radiant smile. Though glad to see him, a strange numbness overshadowed her joy. Confused, she inquired.

[Dianna] "How are you..."

[Adel] "His Majesty summoned me."

[Dianna] "His Majesty did?"

[Adel] "I hear you reached an accord with His Majesty even before my arrival, that you decided to step down as queen."

Guiscard... summoned him?

[Adel] "I am sorry I am so late. I had a bit of a troublesome matter to attend to."

She noticed Adelheit looked far more haggard than expected.

What could have happened?

She knitted her brows at his worn face. Adelheit offered a cheerful grin.

[Adel] "You said you are returning, right? That His Majesty is letting you go. I came to fetch you. Let's go."

He extended a hand toward her like a ray of fresh sunlight.

What does he mean?

As she opened her mouth to speak, he adopted a playful expression.

[Adel] "Ah! Before that, Dian... there is someone who desperately wants to see you."

[Dianna] "Pardon?"

[Adel] "Someone who has been dying to see you."

[Dianna] "Wait a moment..."

[Adel] "Hurry, now."

Urged on by him, Dianna stepped forward.

Someone who wants to see me? Who could it be?

Walking briskly, she arrived at a guest chamber.

Who could possibly be inside...?

Upon knocking and stepping through the doorway, she saw the silhouette of a woman's back, a slender woman with long, straight black hair cascading down her shoulders.

[Sasha] "I waited for a message, but receiving no reply, I came in person."

Blinking in astonishment, Dianna recognized the familiar, archaic tone.

[Sasha] "I had no idea you were residing here."

Dianna stared at her with wide eyes. Sunlight illuminated the woman's beautifully tanned skin. The woman, whose feline eyes curved upward, looked at her with warm affection.

Seeing those golden eyes, tears welled in Dianna's eyes.

[Dianna] "Princess Alexandra..."

It was Princess Sasha of Cagliari, the benefactor who had given her the spirit necklace and taught her spirit arts.

Stepping forward, Sasha wrapped her arms tightly around her shoulders.

---

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