TSMMT Ch 165

Doing One's Best

Levian was not pregnant. Her claim had been a lie from the start. Royal physicians reported she had ingested a specialized herb to mimic pregnancy symptoms.

Dianna had not taken the life of an unborn child. That realization might have offered some solace. Yet she reached a far more chilling conclusion.

Levian had faked a pregnancy. She had possessed the audacity to claim she was carrying the King's child.

This meant she had the twisted nerve to fake a pregnancy in the first place. She was a woman flawed enough to utter such a falsehood without a single shred of hesitation.

Both in her past life and in her present one.

If so...

What had the Levian of her past life been like?

Had she genuinely been pregnant back then?

What if... What if she faked her pregnancy in my past life as well?

In her past life, Dianna had been Queen in name only.

One of Saruvia's own attendants had delivered the news of her pregnancy to Dianna.

Pride had kept Dianna from questioning the truth of the claim. She maintained an unyielding pride on the surface, a fact Levian knew better than anyone.

What if the reason for Dianna's death was not the truth, but a lie?

What if she had naively believed a treacherous illusion and chosen death because of it?

Dianna had never verified the truth. Even when choosing self-destruction, she hid her true feelings to protect her pride. She had striven desperately to ensure Guiscard never realized Saruvia's pregnancy was the catalyst for her death.

Yet... what if I had asked just once?

What if I had set aside my pride and asked just once?

What would have happened then?

[Dianna] "Ah, aaaah!"

What was I, to have thrown away my life over something so trivial?

What if it was all a lie? What if it was a lie all along?!

Was my life so fragile that a single word from that woman could dictate it?

Dianna covered her face with both hands and wept. Her pride had always mattered more to her than anything else. So, she chose to break rather than bend, abandoning her life far too easily.

How foolish it had been. How infuriating!

[Taras] "Why are you crying?"

A child's voice reached her ears. It was Tarascus. Through some unknown trick, he frequently visited Dianna away from prying eyes. It had been quite some time since his last visit.

He stood beside her and stared into her face. Dianna turned her head away, her features tear-stained as heavy tears spilled over.

[Taras] "Has something sad happened?"

She looked at his innocent face, unable to speak.

[Taras] "Could it be... because of your past life?"

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "Because you realized your death was in vain?"

She straightened her back and snapped her gaze to him.

[Dianna] "How do you..."

[Taras] "Did I not tell you? I am the Dragon of Time."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "I am the regulator of time, the entity that exists across all temporal planes."

She stared down at him in utter shock. Though she had treated him casually due to his childish appearance, a noble, ancient presence now radiated from him.

Like a boulder that had weathered a thousand years, he looked down upon the mortal before him.

[Dianna] "Time... How can you command... time?"

[Taras] "Why? Do you find it strange that I am not a dragon of fire, water, venom, or ice? Time holds immense power as well."

He offered a subtle smile.

[Taras] "I am time itself. I bear the duty of readjusting twisted timelines."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "There is no need to overcomplicate it. That is how I recognized you were a byproduct of a temporal rift."

She looked at the dragon desperately.

[Dianna] "Then... do you know everything? My past life, what happened after my death... and what the ultimate truth is?"

He looked into her eyes before slowly shaking his head.

[Taras] "I am not omniscient. However, when I look at you, I can see the time you have traversed."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "Your time exists as an overlap between your first life and your second life. I can see the timeline of your past life."

His glass-like eyes focused on Dianna, reflecting her trembling face within their silver-blue depths.

[Taras] "Very well. I shall grant you the answer you seek first. The woman you killed using the earth spirits in your second life... I can see that she deceived you in your first life."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "Furthermore, I can see within those memories that she never carried a child."

It was a definitive confirmation.

Dianna slammed her hand over her mouth. Choked sobs escaped her throat, and Tarascus tilted his head in confusion.

[Taras] "Why do you weep?"

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "In your past life, you harbored no desire to live. You made no effort to survive, nor did you make any effort regarding that man. Consequently, when the moment came, you chose self-destruction over a preposterous lie."

She bit her lip and glared at him. Every word he spoke was the truth, and every word cut deep.

[Taras] "Of course, I recognize that your circumstances made effort exceedingly difficult. As a mortal creature dependent on social bonds, your environment was hardly suitable for survival."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "That is why you chose death. Even without that woman, you would have perished eventually. You possessed neither the will nor the desire to live. One way or another, you would have chosen death."

Every single word was accurate. Dianna now knew the truth behind her death. She had no right to feel wronged, for she had already resigned herself to everything back then.

Tarascus was not reproaching her; he was merely curious about her. Yet because the memory was so profoundly painful, even this revelation felt like an agonizing wound.

[Dianna] "I... I don't know. I don't understand why I feel so wronged, or why I am so furious."

[Taras] "..."

[Dianna] "Is it because I was foolish enough to die over something so meaningless?"

[Taras] "..."

[Dianna] "No... That is not it. The realization that I could have made a different choice is what drives me mad."

She recalled her past life. She recalled the Guiscard of her past life. He had been cruel, indifferent, and cold toward her. Everyone in the world had condemned her, and everyone had wronged her. And yet...

[Taras] "Are you agonizing over a mere choice of death? Life is a continuous sequence of choices, and you can make different choices throughout your existence. Must you torment yourself over that single decision?"

He intended it as comfort, a reminder that death had been one choice among many. Yet his words lodged in her mind, piercing her like sharp thorns. She clenched her fists.

He was right. It was not merely about death. She was not crying out of rage over a foolish death. What tormented her now was profound regret and self-reflection.

She looked back upon her life with a blank gaze.

[Dianna] "Now that I think about it, I surrendered to death far too easily. At a single lie from that woman, I took my own life without verifying the facts."

[Taras] "..."

[Dianna] "That is what feels so infuriating... I never did my best."

Levian's villainy had been real, yet Dianna had resented her circumstances so deeply that she had never once exerted her utmost effort.

When Revius pointed out her lack of effort, she had viewed it as an attack and offered only condemnation in return.

Why had she wept over Levian's deception? Because she felt she had never possessed the right to weep in the first place.

In this moment, Dianna confronted her own flaws directly. She had surrendered her life far too easily. That was why she felt so wronged. That was why she wept.

She had not done her best. In truth, she had failed to make even a proper attempt. She had never reached out to anyone, nor had she cried out in pain when struck.

Had she ever spoken to Guiscard regarding Levian's deception?

Following Logaple's death, had she ever apologized to the knights of the Vargrhati Order?

The protagonists in regression novels repented for their past lives and strove to change. Naturally, Dianna had felt regret as well, and she had tried to alter her path. Yet she had merely regretted her choices. She had never reflected upon the way she lived her life.

[Taras] "Even so, you have lived this current timeline with absolute dedication."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "Though you occasionally commit foolish, suicidal acts, you have nonetheless striven with all your might."

Dianna nodded quietly at his words. His comforting words reached her heart.

Is that so? Have I done my best this time?

Have I refrained from resigning myself to fate like in my past life, thinking that nothing would ever change?

[Dianna] "There is something I wish to ask. Does fate truly exist?"

[Taras] "..."

[Dianna] "Is there such a thing as an inevitable outcome?"

[Taras] "No. There is no absolute truth to such nonsense."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "If certain events repeated in your second life, it was because the willpower of the entity orchestrating those events was exceptionally strong. That is not fate. It is merely a result birthed when various circumstances converge with a powerful willpower. That is simple cause and effect, not fate."

Her father had brought Guiscard home as a slave out of a deep obsession. Guiscard had invaded Panborough, slaying the King and Duke Brienne. He had forcefully claimed Dianna in marriage for the very same reason.

Whether labeled as destiny or fate, nothing was predetermined.

[Dianna] "Yet, Tarascus... I heard a prophecy in the past. Was that not fate?"

He flinched at her words.

[Taras] "What prophecy?"

She closed her eyes and recited the passage from memory.

[Dianna] "A murderer drenched in the blood of a million souls is watching you.

A dragon slayer covered in the blood of a dragon shall behold you.

You shall not evade him. You shall not flee from him.

You shall never escape the destiny seeking to grasp you. You shall meet him.

You are already within the grasp of fate.

Yet, it shall transform. Though it can't be altered, it shall transform.

Since you have transformed, fate shall transform as well.

Walk the proper path. As you have always done."

She suddenly felt as though she understood the subtle distinction between "altering" and "transforming."

[Dianna] "The part about Guiscard beholding me proved true. The prophecy claimed I couldn't escape fate. That is what the God told me. What could it mean?"

Tarascus grumbled in response.

[Taras] "The 'fate' referenced there denotes the willpower of an entity orchestrating a massive upheaval. It seems that so-called God possessed the ability to glimpse the future. As I said, it is merely willpower.

Fate? No such thing exists. The entity lumped everything together as 'fate' because explaining it was too troublesome. Don't believe in such utter nonsense."

Dianna offered a soft laugh. The ominous divine prophecy suddenly felt surprisingly trivial.

[Taras] "Good grief, to think I have to explain such things. Why must prophecies be delivered so cryptically?"

[Dianna] "You seem to harbor quite a few grievances against God."

[Taras] "Of course. As the entity in charge of time, you would do well to trust my words."

He snapped in annoyance.

Dianna felt a sense of clarity wash over her. The shift between her past life and her present world had transpired because she had striven, regardless, through small efforts, grand efforts, and quiet persistence.

She had finally grasped a portion of life's true meaning.

Releasing a sigh, Tarascus spoke.

[Taras] "Creature, I am at a loss when you weep."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "Don't indulge in excessive regret. While it is true that you failed to exert effort in the past, is it not equally true that your circumstances made effort nearly impossible?"

He extended his hand and gently wiped away her tears.

[Taras] "Looking at you, I begin to understand why Fafnir remains so obsessed with humans."

Just as she pondered the meaning behind his words, Tarascus lapsed into deep thought before suddenly uttering a single phrase.

[Taras] "A murderer drenched in the blood of a million souls..."

[Dianna] "Pardon?"

[Taras] "Could that have been referring to someone other than the dragon slayer...?"

Her eyes widened sharply.

[Taras] "The reason the prophecy specifically mentioned a murderer... was to deliver a warning to me."

[Dianna] "..."

[Taras] "Fafnir is targeting you."

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