TSMMT Ch 44

Forgiveness

Dianna didn't leave her room due to her physical injuries. While staying inside, she turned various thoughts over in her mind—her past, her emotions, and what she should do next.

First of all, she had successfully changed fate. Philip's survival stood as clear proof. Through this victory, she realized that the word of God declaring fate unchangeable was flawed.

Still, ignoring the prophecy remained impossible.

If fate repeats itself, will I meet that woman again? What could be more horrific than that?

If things can't change, does it mean the child in my womb will die again?

Dianna thought about it repeatedly.

No, my child will not die. Philip is alive. I will prevent that death.

No, wait. Does this mean I must marry Guiscard again? Must I marry him once more and conceive another child?

The dilemma offered no clear answer. Nausea rose to her throat at the memory of Levian and the marriage they once shared in the past life.

Why is fate unchangeable?

Despair consumed her. After spending hours alone, Duke Brienne eventually summoned her to deliver a stern reprimand.

[Duke] "I know you are unwell. However, you are the mistress of the Brienne House. You can't remain idle. Get up at once and greet the distinguished guests. Showcase the status of the Brienne family."

The Duke spoke the truth. Whether Dianna suffered, despaired, or wished to hang herself immediately, members of a noble house valued duty above their own bodies. The Taillach festival was just beginning. This reality was utterly horrific.

[Duke] "Don't forget the ball."

When the new year arrives, people hold various fire-related festivals to commemorate Tali, the Goddess of Winter, who purified all evil with flame.

Among these events, the Ball of Tali was the most critical for the Brienne House. Instead of dancing in a standard ballroom, the chosen lady dressed as the goddess Tali and danced before the largest sacred fire.

Rather than possessing the elegance of a waltz, the dance was bold and passionate. The lady who portrayed Tali received a crystal crown modeled after ice, won the opportunity to dance at the first royal ball of the new year, and secured an absolute invitation to all upcoming royal galas.

Many visitors stayed at the Duke's castle specifically to witness that dance. Because of this, the winter social season shifted entirely to the Brienne Duchy. Dianna naturally faced a mountain of work. She had to oversee numerous tasks as the mistress of the house.

The Duke was right. Yet, what was the purpose of all this effort?

---

While Dianna remained out of sight and listlessly focused on managing the Brienne estate, the atmosphere outside shifted drastically for the worse.

[Saruvia] "Oh my! Your Highness! You must not do this."

A bright laugh echoed. The cute voice belonged to Lady Levian. Her charm completely captivated Ferdinand. It made sense; at fifteen, she looked fresh and beautiful.

Is that how she made Guiscard her captive in my past life as well?

A bitter smile touched Dianna's lips. The center of the entire social circle shifted toward Lady Levian. Perhaps due to her brief absence, Dianna was excluded from the group naturally.

Strangely, no sense of deprivation arose from this exclusion.

After all, didn't every ounce of glory originally belong to that woman?

Yet, pain pierced her chest when Philip smiled by Saruvia's side.

At the tea party Dianna was forced to attend, Lady Levian chattered away.

[Saruvia] "Panborough is so fascinating! Unlike the Lodbrog Kingdom, entertainment thrives here, making it wonderful fun."

[Lady] "Doesn't the Lodbrog Kingdom possess its own unique culture?"

[Saruvia] "Oh, not at all. We have no festivals like this. Especially the idea of dressing as the goddess Tali and dancing before the flames—how romantic is that?"

[Ferdinand] "Oh! If it is you, Lady Levian, you will portray Tali flawlessly."

[Saruvia] "Oh, thank you! Do you agree as well, Prince Philip?"

Philip gave a short laugh and answered.

[Philip] "Of course."

Dianna drank her tea. It tasted like bitter water. Listening to her voice brought exhaustion. The memory of Saruvia's mocking laughter from her past life surfaced.

[Philip] "Ann?"

Philip studied Dianna's face. She lifted her gaze.

[Philip] "Ann, are you alright?"

[Dianna] "……Yes."

She offered a faint smile.

[Saruvia] "Oh, Prince Philip and Lady Brienne are remarkably close!"

[Dianna] "I serve as Princess Ionia's lady-in-waiting, so we cross paths frequently."

[Saruvia] "A lady-in-waiting?"

Dianna understood the reason behind the question. Typically, the eldest daughter of a duke employed ladies-in-waiting rather than serving as one. Usually, only the second daughters or lower-ranking noble ladies took such positions.

[Saruvia] "You must thoroughly enjoy taking care of others, Lady Brienne."

[Dianna] "……."

[Saruvia] "Because of this, I might feel much more comfortable around you."

Saruvia offered a warm smile as she spoke. Dianna recognized the hidden sarcasm. Or was she simply overanalyzing? She wished only for the tea party to end.

The Lodbrog Kingdom lacked a princess, and the Levian Ducal House carried royal blood. Aside from the queen, the highest-ranking woman in that country was the Grand Duchess Blake. However, because the Grand Duchess was currently deceased, Saruvia was treated as royalty.

Because Levian acted shy around strangers, she hosted the tea party exclusively with the royals she felt comfortable with. Would it have been easier if all the noble ladies attended? No, that was not the case. Saruvia had already grown quite close to the young ladies of Panborough. Regardless, the uncomfortable gathering concluded, and Dianna prepared to arrange the next gathering for the other noble ladies.

[Philip] "Ann."

Philip called out, stopping Dianna as she instructed the maids. When she turned around, he approached.

[Dianna] "Philip."

[Philip] "Are you feeling alright?"

[Dianna] "Yes."

Even amidst all this, he worries about my health.

Warmth filled her heart. Philip studied her face and let out a sigh.

[Philip] "Why are you acting like this?"

[Dianna] "What?"

What did he just say? He scowled and lowered his voice.

[Philip] "You could try to show a better expression in front of Lady Levian."

What did she just hear? Dianna wore a blank look. Philip stared at her with pity.

[Philip] "Do you know how cautiously Lady Levian walks around you? People are already whispering that you are hostile toward a foreign duke's daughter."

She stared at him, completely unable to comprehend his words.

Why is he saying this to me?

Her composure shattered. Seeing her face stiffen, his eyes widened.

[Philip] "No, wait, Ann! I didn't mean it that way."

[Saruvia] "Prince Philip!"

A cheerful voice echoed. Levian called out to him from a distance.

[Saruvia] "Why aren't you coming? I am waiting for you!"

As Philip looked in that direction, Dianna spoke.

[Dianna] "Why don't you go?"

[Philip] "……."

[Dianna] "She is the lady you care so much about."

[Philip] "Ann! That isn't what I meant! It's just what people think……!"

[Dianna] "What does their opinion matter? The fact that you are the one lecturing me is what hurts."

Emotions overwhelmed Dianna. Philip tried to continue speaking, but she turned away.

[Philip] "Did Lady Levian do something to hurt you?"

[Dianna] "……."

[Philip] "She didn't. Yet you make a face full of pure hatred every time she approaches. Say something."

Dianna remained silent. Levian had done absolutely nothing to mistreat her. Yet, explaining the events of the future was impossible.

Observing her silence, his eyes turned cold.

[Dianna] "Please, just go!"

She shouted. Deep down, she wished Philip would stay, but the sound of his footsteps echoed. Hearing his receding footsteps, despair crushed her.

Ah, I am exhausted. I just want to sleep. I don't want to live.

She knew how bizarre she must appear to others. Wearing a lifeless expression and a forced smile, she barely participated in conversations. It was only natural for people to assume she was hostile toward the duke's daughter. The perceptive Philip sensed something was wrong, yet she shared nothing. She couldn't.

Dianna was exhausted. Exhaustion completely overwhelmed her.

---

Once the schedule concluded, Dianna staggered back to her room. Nausea threatened to overwhelm her. Ever since her encounter with Levian, her stomach churned constantly. Her body was foolish.

I must keep my wits about me. I must stay strong.

Dizziness struck her head. Just as her consciousness began to slip, someone grabbed her waist, preventing a fall. When she regained awareness, a fit of coughing seized her. The air was thick with foul dust.

Fortunately, the spot where she lay was free of dust, though stains marked parts of her clothes. Right then, a voice spoke.

[Guiscard] "Are you awake?"

He sat nearby, watching her.

[Dianna] "Why am I here?"

[Guiscard] "You collapsed."

Ah. That was right. Over the past few days, her exhaustion had reached an absolute peak. She looked at him and spoke listlessly.

[Dianna] "Why didn't you take me back to my room?"

[Guiscard] "I believed someone would immediately summon you if you remained in your room."

[Dianna] "You are not wrong."

If word spread that she collapsed, the Duke's castle would descend into chaos, and rumors would fly. More importantly, the Duke would never tolerate it. Someone would undoubtedly force her awake to perform her duties.

Dianna stood up. Despite her deep reluctance, she had to fulfill her obligations.

Just as she prepared to leave the storeroom without offering a word of thanks, he spoke.

[Guiscard] "Are you no longer looking for me?"

[Dianna] "……."

[Guiscard] "Do you hate me now because I considered betraying you?"

Ah, right. That had happened. The shock of Levian's arrival was so massive that she completely forgot about his near-betrayal. Strictly speaking, it was merely an internal struggle over betrayal anyway. In her past life, Guiscard and Levian had…… No, Dianna forced herself to stop that line of thought.

Guiscard knelt before her.

[Guiscard] "I will never betray you again."

[Dianna] "……."

[Guiscard] "I will live as your slave for the rest of my days. You alone are my master and my god."

He lifted her hand and pressed his lips against it, almost as if he were licking it. He deliberately acted like a loyal hound. Dianna tried to pull her hand away, but he gripped it with desperate urgency.

[Guiscard] "So, please look at me again."

[Dianna] "……."

[Guiscard] "Give me your attention."

[Dianna] "……."

[Guiscard] "Living without it causes sheer agony."

[Dianna] "……."

[Guiscard] "I will look only at you for the rest of my life. I will never betray you, so please forgive me."

Guiscard, who never spoke of his own feelings, now displayed an emotion that could be either false or real. Surprisingly, his final words—promising to look only at her—offered exactly what she needed most.

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