WMEEM Ch 11

A Flawed Person

As I pondered his question for a long moment, a circular blot of ink bled into the parchment.

Slide.

He gently drew the ruined parchment away and set down a fresh sheet.

[Terkan] "Judging by your flustered reaction, it seems so."

[Celeste] "No, that is not it."

[Terkan] "Then what is it?"

[Celeste] "I was reflecting on what it means to like someone."

Scratch, scratch.

I resumed writing the words I had been penning moments ago.

[Celeste] "I do like Aranad. That much is true."

A brief silence hung between us before he spoke.

[Terkan] "Do you intend to meet him again? While an Empress of Kellinev may keep a paramour, rumors arising before the wedding could prove troublesome. You must exercise caution, especially given the current delicate situation."

A chuckle escaped me, and I set the pen down before I could ruin another sheet.

Terkan observed me skeptically, and I couldn't suppress my laughter.

So he can make an expression like that, too.

He usually wore a soft smile or an impassive mask, and occasionally appeared chillingly cold. So seeing him pout was entirely new. He felt far more human.

[Celeste] "My affection for him is not like that."

I crossed my arms over the desk and leaned forward.

[Celeste] "What I feel for Aranad is friendship, not romantic attraction between a man and a woman. I told you he is a friend. A paramour is absurd."

[Terkan] "Friendship can't exist between a man and a woman."

[Celeste] "It does for us. My affection for Aranad matches what I feel for Tarega. And he feels the same."

I retrieved the pen. As I wrote across the paper, another unfamiliar word halted my progress, so I sought Terkan's help once more. He jotted the word on a scrap of paper as he spoke.

[Terkan] "If friendship between a man and a woman endures for a long time, it is because one side loves deeply."

[Celeste] "I told you, that is not the case for us."

I paid no mind to his nonsense. I harbored no such feelings, nor would Aranad ever view me in that light.

Our debate over friendship subsided as I immersed myself in drafting the letter.

Each new word I discovered felt like entering an entirely new world. Just as thrilled as I had been when first learning to read years ago, I wished to stay up studying all night.

Perhaps my enthusiasm stemmed from it being my first day, or because Terkan felt easy to be around compared to others. Still, a swelling emotion filled my chest as I shed the skin of an ignorant fool.

Terkan proved an exceptional teacher. True to his calm nature, he explained concepts clearly, ensuring complete comprehension.

When the lesson ended, I reread the letter to Aranad and looked up at him.

[Celeste] "Is there anything you can't do?"

How can he be so skilled at teaching as well?

While I drafted the letter, he had not only supplied vocabulary. He had refined my sentence structures, making the message far more concise and impactful. Terkan possessed remarkable literary talent as well.

He tidied the desk and replied casually.

[Terkan] "There is nothing I can't do."

I had anticipated the answer, yet hearing him state it with such unceremonious ease filled me with envy—for it betrayed absolute self-assurance.

[Celeste] "Don't be arrogant."

[Terkan] "It is not arrogance, but self-awareness."

[Celeste] "Should a human not possess at least one thing they can't do?"

[Terkan] "While there is nothing I can't do, I suffer from many shortcomings."

Inability and shortcomings. How do they differ? Are they not essentially the same?

[Celeste] "What manner of shortcomings?"

[Terkan] "You will discover them gradually as you spend time with me. When you eventually discover my flaws..."

Scrape.

He pushed back his chair and stood up. My gaze followed his movements. He looked down at me, a barely perceptible smile curving his lips.

[Terkan] "Don't hate me."

[Celeste] "Why would I hate you?"

[Terkan] "Because I am the sort of person who deserves it."

[Celeste] "All right. Even so, I will never hate you."

Without you, I would be dead already.

I would have died without ever seeing fine clothes, exquisite food, or a grand bedroom.

Education would have remained a distant dream.

Thanks to you, I am living an entirely different life.

Therefore, I will surely repay this debt to you one day.

I made that silent vow in my heart.

---

Studying Kellinev history revealed a startling truth. Strictly speaking, the lesson pertained less to Kellinev history alone and more to the shared heritage of Kellinev and Calyx.

Previously, I possessed only basic knowledge regarding both empires.

As the only human races in the world with wings, these two lineages were distinct.

Originally, every citizen of Kellinev and Calyx bore wings, but centuries of intermarriage with outsiders reduced functional wings strictly to the imperial bloodlines of each nation.

Wings could be manifested or hidden at will, matching the color of one's hair.

That was the extent of my knowledge. Yet the instructor revealed that imperial children were not born with functional wings. At age twelve, full wings sprouted from residual marks on their shoulders, officially acknowledging them as royalty.

Though most imperial children were born with white hair matching their wings, rare exceptions occurred. When wings manifested at twelve, hair color often shifted alongside them.

Yet no wings had ever sprouted on my back, nor had my hair color shifted. Not even the faintest trace of a wing appeared on my shoulders. I had assumed I inherited my mother's golden hair and lack of wings.

Age twelve. I remembered clearly. Raff and the imperial court had displayed an abnormal fixation on my twelfth birthday. I had not understood why back then, but it all made sense now.

Through the late Emperor's relentless efforts, I gained the title of Princess despite the odds, yet I possessed no wings and bore hair different from the Calyx imperial family.

That was why Raff uttered those venomous words. His suspicion over whether I carried the late Emperor's bloodline stemmed from the fact that I possessed absolutely no proof of Calyx imperial heritage.

I remained rooted to my chair after the lesson ended. Though the afternoon breeze blew chilly, I left the window open, needing space to think.

Though despised due to my mother's origins, I had never doubted carrying the late Emperor's bloodline.

While unconfirmed, circumstances suggested I was not Calyx royalty at all. I was, in the most literal sense, a fake. I assumed I was branded a fake because of my mother's common background, but the truth was a suspicion regarding my very blood.

Disappointment crashed over me, accompanied by a surge of resentment and fury.

Why did I endure such a miserable existence? If I lacked the late Emperor's blood, I should never have suffered abuse. No, I should never have entered the Calyx Imperial Palace in the first place.

Yet my mother had followed my father into the palace. Had I not been his true daughter, my mother would never have made that choice. My mother sacrificed everything, believing I carried imperial blood.

Then why do I still have golden hair and no wings?

I became lost in endless thought as dusk settled unnoticed.

I longed to clear my mind, so I decided to take a walk. Tarega moved to accompany me, but I needed solitude, so I declined gently.

[Tarega] "Then please take this at least..."

She brought a thick shawl and draped it over my shoulders.

The issue was Eli. He insisted on remaining by my side no matter what.

[Celeste] "I will return shortly. The imperial palace is hardly a dangerous place."

[Eli] "My apologies, Your Highness. I follow only Master Terkan's orders."

I opened my mouth to argue, but his unyielding stance made me abandon the attempt.

Since he obeyed only Terkan, my words would fall on deaf ears regardless of how many times I repeated them. I was uncertain why an escort knight was necessary when sentries stood everywhere, but I accepted it as another burden of royalty.

A few paces in, I recalled Terkan assuring Elizaveta that Eli followed only my commands.

[Celeste] "Eli, are you Terkan's man?"

[Eli] "Yes."

[Celeste] "Are you also His Majesty's man?"

[Eli] "No. I belong solely to Master Terkan."

The response came without a second of hesitation.

[Celeste] "I envy Terkan."

When I was with others, Terkan would follow my commands, but before Batizo, the Emperor's orders would take precedence. My brief acquaintance with Terkan paled in comparison to his history with Batizo, so that was only natural.

Still, seeing Eli's absolute loyalty made me envy Terkan's standing. Gaining absolute trust from another human being demanded vast time and deep emotional devotion.

Wait. I have Tarega.

I knew Tarega would feel hurt if she heard my thoughts, and the reminder of our bond extinguished my envy toward Terkan.

[Celeste] "Eli, I retract what I said earlier... about envying Terkan. I have someone like you as well."

I left behind the Eli who struggled to grasp my meaning and walked ahead. He stayed a few paces behind me, just as he had with Elizaveta, trailing unobtrusively.

As the temperature dropped far below daytime levels, I pulled the shawl up to my chin.

Is it only my imagination?

The moon above Kellinev appeared whiter and larger than the moon in Calyx. A vast, clouded crystal orb suspended in the sky. Yet as the world called it the moon, the moon above Calyx and the moon above Kellinev remained the exact same entity.

Perhaps I am the same.

I was already branded Calyx's fake princess. Among them were those like Raff who harbored doubts regarding my bloodline. Perhaps everyone believed the rumors, lending weight to the title of fake princess.

Whether I carried Calyx imperial blood or not, to the world, I remained a fake princess. Framing it that way settled my heart. Nothing could change or shift at this late hour. I needed to forge ahead toward my goal.

---

I wandered wherever my feet led me. Once my thoughts settled, I began to enjoy the night stroll.

A second stroll through the garden, sparse in trees and blossoms, revealed its unique charm.

Without vibrant flowers or sculpted trees stealing my attention, I could focus entirely on myself. The neat, unobstructed view felt refreshing.

Just then, a familiar silhouette approached from the opposite direction. Terkan gestured for Eli to withdraw, leaving only the two of us behind.

[Terkan] "I heard you skipped dinner."

It seems everything I do is reported to him.

Though somewhat suffocating, feeling monitored carried a subtle sense of care that felt far from unpleasant.

[Celeste] "Rich food upset my stomach recently, so I thought fasting for dinner would settle it. There is no other issue."

[Terkan] "If there is no other issue, why take a walk so late at night?"

[Celeste] "Arriving in an unfamiliar place leaves me with much to ponder. You would feel the same in my shoes."

I was unwilling to disclose my inner turmoil, so I brushed the question off vaguely.

[Terkan] "How were your lessons today?"

[Celeste] "Easier than expected. Not too difficult."

[Terkan] "They will grow far more demanding moving forward. Furthermore, I came to inform you that an official ball introducing you will take place within a few days."

[Celeste] "How many days remain?"

[Terkan] "It has not been finalized yet."

I had never danced in my life. A playful dance with the "gentleman" I met in the forest during childhood was my sole experience. I could no longer recall the steps to his soft humming. Only the feel of the wind and the scent of the forest remained vivid in my memory.

[Celeste] "I suppose I must find a dance instructor as well."

[Terkan] "He stands right before you."

He halted his steps. My dance instructor was none other than him.

[Celeste] "You again?"

[Terkan] "Do you dislike that it is me? In that case, tomorrow I shall fetch someone else..."

[Celeste] "No, it is not that."

I cut him off quickly.

[Celeste] "You teach me. I feel comfortable with you."

He wore an expression that said he expected as much. I regretted rushing to speak instead of playing it cool.

[Celeste] "Ah, could I not learn from Elizaveta?"

[Terkan] "She lacks talent in that domain. Would you be fine with her?"

[Celeste] "Is it that severe?"

[Terkan] "You may see for yourself at the ball. Or if you doubt me, we can verify it tomorrow. Or shall I demonstrate my dancing first?"

Terkan, who had maintained a half-step distance throughout our walk, stepped close to me.

Startled, I moved to step back, but his hand caught mine while his other arm wrapped around my waist.

[Terkan] "Place your hand on my shoulder."

Gently, I rested my hand upon his shoulder. With a subtle space remaining between us, our eyes met.

[Terkan] "Follow my steps."

One, two, three. One, two, three.

His softly murmured cadence sounded like music. I repeated one, two, three under my breath, moving my feet in sync with his. His voice mingled softly with mine.

Although I was busy watching his feet to match his steps, mastering the rhythm proved surprisingly easy after a few turns.

[Terkan] "You learn quickly."

[Celeste] "Is that so?"

[Terkan] "The instructor who taught you Kellinev history today noted that you possess quick comprehension."

[Celeste] "I suppose I am not foolish after all."

I spoke in jest. Since I had spent only a single day learning, concluding anything was too early.

[Terkan] "I expected as much."

I looked up at his face. Under the night sky, his ruby eyes seemed to glow with a deeper intensity.

[Celeste] "I was joking. I didn't expect you to play along."

[Terkan] "Because it is the truth."

Whether true or not, feeling validated gladdened my heart.

As my spirits lifted, my steps grew overly light. I stumbled and nearly stepped on his foot. As I tried to evade his foot, I lost my balance entirely.

[Celeste] "Whoa!"

I narrowly avoided an embarrassing fall onto the grass and collapsed against his chest instead.

Both my hands pressed against his chest. I felt a solid firmness beneath my palms that belied his slender frame, so I quickly pushed myself back and stood upright.

[Celeste] "I am sorry."

[Terkan] "Not at all. Mistakes naturally occur when learning to dance."

I had assumed someone leaner than Batizo would lack muscle, yet his frame proved otherwise.

He is a man who survived battlefields.

A sudden awkwardness filled the air between us.

[Celeste] "Let us head inside."

Whether the awkwardness affected only me was unclear, for his expression remained entirely unchanged.

He stayed half a step behind me as his long shadow stretched ahead, matching his pace slowly to mine.

I walked silently, staring straight ahead, while he remained quiet.

A serene night. The two of us walked in silence.

As a gentle breeze carried the clouds away to reveal the moonlight once more, the subtle sounds of the imperial court filled the night air.

Unidentified insects chirped in the distance, rustling leaves swayed in the wind, and dried grass crunched beneath our boots.

Those faint sounds harmonized together, filling the quiet space. Sparing me from the awkwardness of the silence.

---

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