WMEEM Ch 14

Sigh and Flutter

Elizaveta arrived right on schedule for afternoon tea the following day.

She didn't need to force herself to attend if she was struggling. It made me feel guilty that she came solely out of commitment to her promise.

Elizaveta entered with her usual bright demeanor and immediately began chattering away.

I avoided bringing up yesterday's incident entirely, unwilling to dredge up painful memories. Unless she raised the topic first, I intended never to mention it.

I presented her with a gift instead, hoping to offer a measure of comfort.

[Eliza] "Is this for me?"

Her eyes widened in surprise.

[Celeste] "It is nothing grand. Though I didn't select it carelessly. I deliberated for quite some time. I hope you like it, Elizaveta."

I called it nothing grand to prevent her from feeling burdened. Yet, fearing she might misunderstand my intent, my explanation rambled on.

She had lived as a noble lady since birth, so she undoubtedly owned hairpins studded with fine jewels. She was hardly someone who would find such an item overwhelming, yet I had judged by my own modest standards. Perhaps it was far too commonplace a gift.

Unlike Tarega, she opened the box decisively.

My heart raced in fear that she might dislike it, but her face brightened the moment her eyes landed on the gift inside. My own face brightened in turn.

[Eliza] "Your Highness!"

[Celeste] "Do you like it?"

[Eliza] "Of course! It is absolutely gorgeous. Is it all right for me to accept something so precious?"

[Celeste] "Please accept it. It comes from my heart."

She drew the hairpin from the box, secured it into her short hair on the spot, and turned toward me.

[Eliza] "Your Highness, how does it look? Does it suit me?"

[Celeste] "As expected of a beauty. You carry off anything gorgeously."

[Eliza] "I shall treasure it dearly. Thank you so much."

She rose from her seat to bow, keeping the hairpin nestled in her hair for the remainder of her visit.

Her delight filled me with deep satisfaction.

She admired her reflection in the mirror while repeating how lovely the hairpin looked, then stepped close to me.

[Eliza] "It seems Your Highness and I share a mind."

[Celeste] "...?"

[Eliza] "I brought a gift for you as well."

She set down a box before me, similar in shape to the one I had given her.

[Eliza] "Open it!"

When I lifted the lid, an exquisite hairpin rested inside.

Though it differed in design from the one I had gifted her, gratitude for her thoughtfulness made me pick it up immediately. Besides, it suited my taste perfectly.

Even had it failed to match my taste, I would have accepted her present with equal joy.

[Celeste] "I am rather clumsy with such things. Could you pin it in for me, Elizaveta?"

[Eliza] "I am hardly skilled at styling either, but I shall do my best!"

She held the pin against various spots on my head as she pondered, then found the perfect placement and secured it gently.

[Eliza] "It suits you wonderfully! You look beautiful."

She clapped her hands in delight, then suddenly asked a question.

[Eliza] "I heard a ball introducing you will be held soon?"

[Celeste] "Yes. I am quite worried about it."

[Eliza] "What worries you?"

[Celeste] "It is my first time. What is high society like in Kellinev?"

I had never experienced high society even in Calyx, so anxiety weighed heavily upon me.

Countless onlookers would scrutinize and judge me at the ball, a stifling prospect to even imagine. My greatest fear was sparking malicious gossip among the hostile nobility.

Even if my dancing exceeded their expectations, every other action would become food for gossip. If they addressed me, I had to respond, and my answers would inevitably face judgment.

[Eliza] "High society is the same everywhere. It will be identical to Calyx."

She seemed to misunderstand my mention of it being my first time.

[Celeste] "I lived in isolation in Calyx, so I know little of such things. High society itself is entirely new to me."

[Eliza] "Forgive me."

[Celeste] "It is quite all right."

[Eliza] "As with all high society, calling it 'socializing' in Kellinev is a polite term. It is basically just a glorified mating market."

After speaking so candidly, she sneaked a cautious glance at my expression.

[Eliza] "Did I choose too shocking a word?"

Truthfully, her blunt phrasing had startled me.

[Celeste] "A little bit."

[Eliza] "Grandly packaged as aristocratic networking, the primary activity actually taking place is hunting for lovers. Though, of course, not everyone behaves that way."

Hunting for lovers, how amusing. Relief washed over me as I realized high society was far less strict than I had imagined.

[Celeste] "Do you participate in social gatherings often, Elizaveta?"

[Eliza] "I attend under pressure from my parents and brothers, but..."

She trailed off into thought, then shook her head.

[Eliza] "I don't attend frequently to seek true love."

[Celeste] "Then where do you hope to find true love?"

[Eliza] "Rather than calculated encounters, I prefer waiting for fate to bring it to me."

She clenched both fists as if declaring a sacred oath, her sparkling eyes full of adorable determination.

So you have not met your fate yet...

I swallowed the rest of the sentence quickly. Bringing it up would remind her of yesterday's debacle.

Before I could pivot the conversation, she spoke first.

[Eliza] "I did meet my fate once... but it has come to an end."

In a choked voice, she shared yesterday's tragedy.

With a wedding fast approaching, her fiancé had suddenly demanded an annulment. On the very day of our initial meeting.

Now I understood why she had been delayed that day.

When she pressed him for a reason, he claimed she was too old. A suspicious excuse given that he had known her age from the start. Investigating further revealed the truth.

[Eliza] "The woman you saw yesterday was the real reason. They had been involved for quite some time."

Tears spilled from her eyes.

[Eliza] "Honestly, I wanted to claw his face to shreds, but held back for my parents' sake. Fearing to trouble them further since I am already the family black sheep... Anyway, I have put him behind me completely and shall find my true fate."

Though I praised her for moving on, her expression betrayed lingering pain. Instead of offering clumsy words that might reopen wounds, I gave her a gentle smile.

[Eliza] "How did Your Highness meet His Majesty?"

[Celeste] "Ours is akin to a political marriage."

A union forged for mutual gain. The sole distinction from a standard political marriage was that both parties actively desired it.

[Eliza] "Ah... so it is similar to a political marriage."

She had expected a romantic encounter, so disappointment showed clearly on her face at the mention of a political marriage.

[Eliza] "Then again, perhaps your meeting with His Majesty was fateful in its own way."

[Celeste] "In what way?"

[Eliza] "His Majesty remained unmarried for so long that rumors suggested he would never take a bride. Yet he is marrying you! Changing the mind of a man who refused marriage entirely…. if that is not fate, what is? You two are destined for each other."

Rumors that Batizo would never marry...

Curiosity stirred within me. Given the inevitable pressure to secure an heir, why had he remained unwed until now?

[Celeste] "Do you know why His Majesty remained single for so long?"

[Eliza] "I don't know the reason. Does anyone understand his mind?"

[Celeste] "Did he ever keep a mistress?"

[Eliza] "I can't say. Officially, there is none, so we assume he has none."

Elizaveta offered an encouraging smile as she answered.

Yet phrased another way, he might maintain one in secret. Why I inquired about such matters eluded me, yet curiosity persisted regardless. Even if Batizo kept an official mistress, it bore no relevance to me, making my fixation absurd.

Is that the nature of the Empress' crown?

Perhaps that explained why Raff's mother detested my mother and me. A sentiment I could comprehend now.

Not that our lives were comfortable either. My mother had never sought to enter the Imperial Palace or become a concubine, but she lived in quiet guilt for my sake. A choice that ultimately brought endless suffering.

How would I feel if a mistress of Batizo's bore a child and entered the palace in the future?

I found such thoughts ridiculous, so I steered the conversation back to the ball.

---

The day arrived for fitting my ball gown.

As the event served as my formal introduction, the head seamstress poured painstaking effort into the design, particularly concerned about the scars spanning my back.

Low-back gowns were currently fashionable in Kellinev, making a high-backed alternative a frustrating headache for her.

[Celeste] "I will let my hair down to cover it, so don't stress over it."

[Seamstress] "Yes, Your Highness. I shall do my utmost."

When I stepped into the reception room after the fitting ended, I found Terkan waiting.

It was time for our dance practice.

Steady practice over the past few days eliminated my need to count beats mentally and prevented stumbles, yet an elegant line still eluded me.

[Terkan] "Release the tension across your entire body."

[Celeste] "I want to, but my body refuses to cooperate."

[Terkan] "Tension will only heighten on the day of the ball. Dancing like this will invite ridicule."

[Celeste] "Should I reduce other lessons and practice dancing all day then?"

[Terkan] "And sit motionless at the ball because your feet are blistered?"

I pouted.

Academics yielded clear results when time was invested, but physical grace proved far more challenging. Perhaps I must dedicate even more time to practice than my studies.

Terkan claimed that given my petite frame, I just needed to yield control to the taller Batizo, yet following his advice was easier said than done.

As the musicians began playing, I moved my body in rhythm. I relaxed my muscles and followed Terkan's lead to the music. The sound of our boots brushing against the floor mingled together.

[Terkan] "You are dancing better than yesterday."

Relief washed over me as I saw the fruits of my effort. I moved forward with renewed confidence, but he abruptly halted. The musicians stopped alongside him.

[Terkan] "However, leaning backward makes your posture appear awkward. I have noted this since day one, yet it remains uncorrected."

I maintained a slight distance to avoid being pressed too close together, which made my posture look awkward. Though Terkan had pointed it out repeatedly, adjusting felt difficult.

I gathered my resolve and stepped a bit closer to him.

[Terkan] "Closer."

I took another small step.

[Celeste] "Is this better?"

[Terkan] "Yes. Let us begin again."

After taking a few steps, he halted once more.

[Terkan] "Your arms are stiff."

[Celeste] "I suppose tension crept back in."

I shook my shoulders and arms to release the tension, then took a deep breath and exhaled.

[Terkan] "Doing that will not release the tension."

[Celeste] "Then what should I do?"

He pondered briefly, then opened both arms toward me.

As I hesitated, unable to grasp his intent, he closed the distance with long strides and gathered me into his embrace.

[Celeste] "Huh? Um, Terkan?"

[Terkan] "Rest your head against my chest and wrap both arms around my back."

[Celeste] "Does doing this actually help with practice?"

[Terkan] "We shall see."

Without looking, I knew our pose appeared bizarre. Furthermore, we were not alone. The hired musicians filled the reception room, having observed our practice from the start.

How must I look held in his arms?

Worry flared that Batizo might misunderstand, yet despite my anxiety, Terkan urged me to wrap my arms around him without delay.

He is doing this because it is part of my instruction, right?

Besides, why would Batizo misunderstand? He and I share no romantic bond.

Furthermore, others are present in the room.

This is just to prevent me from embarrassing myself at the ball.

The calm, unbothered expressions of the musicians watching us confirmed that my worries were entirely in my head.

I reached out and wrapped my arms around his back. Terkan signaled the musicians, and the music resumed.

Though pressed far closer than before, letting go of my discomfort brought a sense of stability, making my movements feel noticeably fluid.

My footwork flowed smoothly, proving that heeding his advice was wise. As expected, he was an exceptionally capable teacher.

Yet he remained silent. Words like "You are doing well" or "Better than before" should have come from him, but he merely danced in silence. He refrained even from offering criticism, uttering not a single word.

When I looked up, I found his lips pressed into a tight, firm line. He towered far above me, and I could discern only that his gaze remained fixed straight ahead.

A faint sigh slipped from his lips. A subtle tremor rippled through his Adam's apple.

Am I doing poorly?

Unable to see his expression properly, I couldn't read his thoughts. Assuming I danced well was likely a delusion on my part.

Perhaps he is frustrated because I show no progress despite his guidance.

[Celeste] "Terkan?"

[Terkan] "Yes."

He still refused to look down at me.

[Celeste] "Is my posture still an issue? It feels fine now. My body is no longer stiff, right?"

[Terkan] "Yes."

He offered only a terse "Yes" in a flat tone. I was unaccustomed to empty praise, and he was never one to withhold sharp criticism when I failed, so his current silence felt bizarre.

Are my steps correct or not?

My questions stalled there. Still, unable to endure the suffocating awkwardness, I spoke again.

[Celeste] "Shall we return to the standard posture?"

He went stiff. I assumed he had halted to adjust our posture, but—

[Terkan] "We shall end today's lesson here."

Our allocated time was far from over. He had never ended a lesson early before, making his sudden dismissal baffling.

[Celeste] "Plenty of time remains. Let us practice more."

I wanted to solidify the rhythm while my body still held the feeling, so I reached out to stop him.

[Terkan] "An urgent matter slipped my mind. My apologies."

He dismissed the musicians and departed ahead of everyone.

Once the musicians packed their instruments and withdrew, I was left entirely alone in the reception room.

I felt as though a little more practice would yield mastery...

I extended my arms as if an invisible partner stood before me and moved my feet, counting one, two, three under my breath to keep time without music, just as Terkan had done.

Tap, tap.

The rhythm of two pairs of boots had sounded pleasant moments ago, yet the solitary echo of my own footwear extinguished my drive.

Regret lingered over the unfinished lesson.

---

Terkan returned to his office within the imperial palace.

It made no sense to him that his composure had faltered while instructing Celeste in dance.

Abandoning a lesson prior to its conclusion was unprecedented for a man who had never handled assigned duties so unprofessionally.

The most troubling aspect was that the underlying reason completely eluded him. The instant her petite frame pressed against his, an inexplicable sensation engulfed him.

A sharp, throbbing ache pierced his chest, accompanied by an unsettling melting sensation that disturbed him.

The small shoulders and slender waist held in his arms, though he had done nothing, his palms burned as if scorched by flame.

For a man accustomed to absolute mastery over his emotions and mind, losing control was an entirely novel experience.

Though he had fled to another room like a coward, the turmoil refused to subside.

[Terkan] "Madness."

Stifled, he pushed open the window.

Scattered raindrops fell before abruptly transforming into a heavy downpour. Cold rain splashed against the back of his hand.

Once the rain cleared, winter would undoubtedly arrive. An early onset ahead of schedule.

---

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