Acidity of Regret Ch 115
- Mar 2
- 7 min read
[Vanessa] "Do as you please."
At some point, facing his love became unbearable.
Every moment she confronted his affection, she felt burdened more than anything else. No, was "burdened" even the right word?
She just wanted to avoid it, to run away. She wanted to pretend she hadn't seen it. This time was no different, so she quickly turned away.
As she began to walk again, his shadow appeared beside her. The sun was setting, lengthening the shadows until they stretched far into her field of vision. It didn't move from that spot.
Declan waited until Vanessa had put enough distance between them. Only when even his long shadow could no longer brush against hers did he begin to follow.
Nothing had changed from moments ago. The scenery colored her vision, the fact that she was walking along the sea. But strangely, it felt like a completely different situation. Just because he was behind her. Her eyes trembled slightly as she stared at the shadow that hovered at the edge of her vision.
Meanwhile, Declan felt his heart pounding as if it would burst as he watched her retreating figure.
[Declan] "......Haa."
Calming the uncontrollable vibration in his chest with slow breaths, he gradually took a step.
On the path he was to tread, footprints much smaller than his own were stamped delicately. Vanessa's traces, Vanessa's marks.
A wave of emotion shook his entire body as he took a step following them.
Fitting his feet next to the tracks she left made him smile like a fool. Yet, fearing she might be displeased, he hurriedly stiffened his lips. She wasn't even interested, yet he was fussing all by himself.
Like that, he advanced step by step, following her.
As if they were walking together, the footprints of two people were left side by side on the dazzling, vermilion-painted sandy beach.
At first, it was just awkward and strange.
The sound of someone following her, constantly brushing her ears, no, not just the sound, but that vivid presence touching every single nerve.
But as the saying goes, humans are animals of adaptation; the uncomfortable walks with him gradually became familiar.
The process was always consistent. When Vanessa left the mansion in good weather and began walking along the coast, he would appear quietly and follow silently. Like that, they walked for a long time, facing the wind laden with the unique salty scent of the sea together.
Seeing how well he timed it, the residence he had secured seemed to have a good view of the coast. He must have watched her leisurely strolling along the beach from there for three years.
As he had promised on the first day, Declan never once tried to close the distance. He didn't try to sneak up behind her, and even without a single glance of interest from her, he followed steadily.
The distance wasn't far enough to be strangers, but not close enough to be intimate. It was just right, yet simultaneously ambiguous. A distance like their relationship.
Sometimes she wondered what expression he was making, but out of useless pride, she always stared straight ahead. She confirmed his presence only through the sound of his footsteps crunching on the sand, subtly tickling her ears.
A strange day passed, and a week flowed by. And that time soon passed two weeks and became three. Walks that weren't companionship but proceeded with a keen awareness of each other's presence continued daily.
Then came one day.
Just one day.
Declan didn't follow her to the coast for some reason.
He's not here.
The footsteps she should have heard by now were absent, so she inadvertently looked back.
The man who usually walked quietly on the sand with his hands behind his back—a sight that strangely suited the scenery well enough to make her pretend not to see—was nowhere to be found.
Has he not come out yet?
She quickly turned her head back and continued walking. However, once distracted, her mind couldn't easily find its place again.
Enjoying a solitary walk for the first time in a very long while, she looked back several times.
He usually appeared within ten minutes of her start, but today, even after twenty to thirty minutes passed, he showed no sign of appearing.
He must work.
Come to think of it, it was amazing that a figure of his stature had guarded her back without missing a single day. Unlike her, who was idle, the Grand Duke was the head of a prestigious family and a leader of a nation. So, it was obvious he would be busy without even needing to check.
She walked for a few more minutes like that.
Vanessa inadvertently turned her gaze to examine the buildings standing tall in the distance, likely offering a full view of the sandy beach. It was only a moment later that she realized what she was doing.
As soon as she realized it, her feet, moving sluggishly but forward nonetheless, stopped abruptly. Standing still as if both feet were buried deep in the sand, she swallowed hard.
Why am I doing this?
As if I'm waiting for him.
Strength naturally entered her limp hands, curling them into fists. She stood like that for a long time, clenching her fists, before turning around hurriedly.
[Dina] "Huh? My Lady? Are you leaving already?"
Dina, who was standing at the entrance to the beach, took out her pocket watch with a puzzled expression. Facing a similarly puzzled gaze, she answered quickly.
[Dina] "Your walks have been getting longer lately. Compared to usual, you're going in very early today."
[Vanessa] "......"
[Dina] "My Lady?"
Have my walks been getting longer?
She didn't know. It was something she hadn't guessed at all.
That, following her behavior just moments ago of acting as if she were waiting for him, was a shocking revelation. Perhaps because of that, the back of her head tingled uncontrollably. It felt as if something had struck her head hard.
She couldn't even answer Dina and hurriedly turned her feet.
Sending away even Dina, who tried to follow her inside, she entered her bedroom alone and sat on the couch, taking off her shoes nervously.
The shoes that fell from her delicate feet and rolled away were dirty with sand. Their traces made the pristine carpet messy as well. She looked down at that sight for a long time, pale and drained.
Right now, her heart was no different from that messy appearance.
Since that day.
Since experiencing that uncomfortable, gut-twisting, eerie sensation, Vanessa hadn't stepped onto the coast even once.
The sea that sparkled silver when holding the sun. Walking along the boundary of that coast was the only hobby she enjoyed since coming down here.
However, a sensation revived at a moment, even though she hadn't noticed, ruined the chance to fully enjoy a hobby.
Even as she wondered why she couldn't go there, she was afraid she might experience that sensation again.
It was a sensation she was so reluctant to face. Something she had pushed deep inside a box within her inner self and locked tight with chains. Something she hadn't even dared to examine for fear it might leak through a crack.
Encountering it at an unexpected moment, in an unexpected way, her confusion was immense.
She thought she had locked it tight, but was it her delusion? Or had the events that transpired exerted such a profound influence that they loosened the tightly bound chains?
Whether the former or the latter, all these signals felt like nothing but misfortune to her.
[Dina] "My Lady, they're here!"
Then one day. It was late morning, close to noon.
At Dina's fuss, Vanessa, who had been pacing by the window anyway, hurriedly followed her out. Running down the stairs, she found the hall of the Count's residence unusually crowded.
Scanning the bustling crowd, she smiled brightly as soon as she found the person she was looking for.
[Vanessa] "Father!"
At her call, Count Rohawk, who was greeting the Former Count of Evarn, turned his head immediately. He held his daughter, whom he was meeting for the first time in a long year, tightly in his arms.
[Count] "Have you been well? You weren't ill anywhere, were you? Was the journey here alright?"
[Former Count] "Please, ask one at a time."
Count Rohawk laughed and stroked his daughter's cheek. His tone suggested he was exceedingly pleased with her well-rested, rosy face.
[Former Count] "Let's go to the drawing room to catch up properly."
He stepped up to organize the bustling hall. He also looked happy to welcome his son and daughter-in-law, who had come a long way.
Today was the day the Count of Evarn's family, who resided in the capital, came down to the estate.
As previously contacted, an heir to the Evarn family had been born, so they planned to come down to the estate to show the grandchild.
At one point, the trip was interrupted by bandits, but after Declan eliminated the threat, they were able to reach their destination unscathed.
And along with that group, Count Rohawk had personally come down to the territory to pick up Vanessa, who would soon return to the capital.
Following the suggestion, Vanessa headed to the drawing room with her father.
Drinking the tea the servant brought, they talked about each other's recent news, which letters had been insufficient to convey. Continuing the conversation with her father, she thought it was fortunate she hadn't told him about her injury.
[Count] "Right. You've definitely decided to return to the capital together this time, haven't you?"
[Vanessa] "I should."
[Count] "Good thinking. Everyone at the estate misses you terribly."
[Vanessa] "Is Elliot well?"
[Count] "Of course. He wanted to join this journey too, but we couldn't leave the mansion empty, so he couldn't come. Elliot will probably be the most delighted when you return."
She answered her father's gentle words with a faint smile.
Staring at his daughter drinking tea, Count Rohawk suddenly cleared his throat.
[Count] "Um, Vanessa."
[Vanessa] "Yes."
She put down her teacup and faced her father.
[Count] "Is the Grand Duke possibly staying here?"
She had expected him to bring up an unusual topic given his attention-grabbing attitude, but she didn't expect Declan to appear so abruptly, leaving her momentarily speechless.
Comments