Acidity of Regret Ch 89
- Feb 9
- 7 min read
The week leading to the Covenant Ceremony drifted by like water.
Vanessa could not shake the growing conviction that she was wasting her time, letting it slip through her fingers like dry sand.
The moment she acknowledged her lack of anticipation—or even greed—regarding her marriage to Hayden, her heart grew hollow.
What would become of her once she became his wife?
The future remained a hazy, distant blur. No matter how hard she tried, she could not conjure a vision of herself smiling at Hayden's side. It wasn't that she expected misery; she didn't expect happiness.
Certainty had vanished from her life.
[Dina] "My goodness. To think it's already time for you to marry, My Lady."
Her eyes grew red as she braided Vanessa's golden hair, pinning it into an intricate crown. Though today was the Covenant Ceremony and not the wedding itself, the ritual held a deeper spiritual significance. Her emotional outburst was only natural.
[Dina] "How do you feel?"
[Vanessa] "I'm not sure."
She would become his wife. First a Crown Princess, then an Empress once he ascended the throne. While such a prospect might send shivers of delight through another woman, Vanessa viewed it with the detachment of a stranger listening to a distant rumor.
[Dina] "You look exquisite today, My Lady."
Dina finished the look with a shimmering hair ornament and offered a bright smile. Vanessa studied her reflection.
Inside the temple, tradition dictated that everyone wear white. Vanessa complied, adorning herself in an ivory dress that bared only her neck, silver hair bindings, and silk gloves. She avoided her usual colorful jewels, opting for a monochromatic elegance that bordered on the ethereal.
[Dina] "How long has His Highness waited for this day?"
Looking at her mistress, the old nickname "Angel" flickered in her mind. Yet, in contrast to the beauty blooming at its peak, a persistent gloom haunted Vanessa's features—a shadow the servants had unfortunately grown used to.
Dina suspected the Grand Duke occupied the root of that shadow.
Ever since the tournament ended, the hearts of those in the Rohawk household had known no peace. The kidnapping was trauma enough, but the "Grand Duke's Intrusion" had left an indelible mark.
It was a scene from a sensational romance novel. The fact that he had broken into the home of the woman he kidnapped was shocking, but the sight of him kneeling was beyond belief. He had cast aside his dignity, authority, and reputation to beg for her forgiveness in front of everyone.
As the maid who never left Vanessa's side, Dina wondered when such a deep, agonizing chasm had formed between them. She remained silent, knowing her place, but her heart ached for her mistress' suffering.
[Vanessa] "Is my father awake?"
Vanessa masked her emotions, her voice steady.
[Dina] "Yes, I believe so."
[Vanessa] "Then I should visit his office."
With a soft sigh, she stood.
As the wedding approached, the Count had grown uncharacteristically melancholy. Only yesterday, he had returned home heavily intoxicated—a rare occurrence that startled the entire household. She felt it was her duty to comfort him.
Though he would see her off soon, she wanted to greet him first.
Knock, knock.
She struck the door to the study, but no answer came from within.
Is he still in his room?
She turned the handle and entered. The room was silent. Intending to wait for him, she stepped toward the sofa but stopped short.
The massive desk was a disaster. Usually pristine, the surface looked as though a gale had swept through it, scattering papers in every direction. It mirrored her father's turbulent state of mind.
She approached to tidy the mess as a small gesture of comfort, but her breath hitched.
A headline in a newspaper, pinned beneath a stack of documents, caught her eye.
[ON THE POSSIBLE DEATH OF GRAND DUKE VINKART]
A sharp pang shot through the back of her neck, and the world tilted. She gripped the edge of the desk for support, her eyes frantically scanning the text.
The long struggle against the monsters finally shows signs of an end. Utilizing the systematic tactics of the Ducal army and the monsters' vulnerability to sunlight, the tide has turned.
However, reports indicate that Grand Duke Vinkart, who led the vanguard, has sustained catastrophic injuries. His current condition is critical...... regarding this, the Grand Duchy......
Amidst the jumble of words, one sentence seared itself into her mind: Grand Duke Vinkart has sustained catastrophic injuries.
She reread the passage three times, searching for more, but the details ended there.
She stood frozen, her face turning a ghastly white.
Possible death. Catastrophic injuries. His condition is critical.
She understood the words, yet they refused to attach themselves to the man she knew.
Declan Vinkart. Death.
The two concepts merged, staining her thoughts like spilled ink.
[Count] "Vanessa?"
The familiar voice broke the silence. She snapped her head around to find her father standing in the doorway. Reflexively, she shoved the newspaper under a pile of documents, hiding it.
[Vanessa] "Father."
[Count] "I wondered where you'd gone. His Highness has just arrived."
[Vanessa] "Ah......"
She nodded and walked toward him.
Count Rohawk looked at his daughter with a gaze full of tenderness before pulling her into a tight embrace.
She wanted to say something, but her mind was a void.
[Count] "Go safely."
With her father's blessing, she boarded the carriage. Hayden sat inside, his expression as serene as ever.
She had no memory of how she greeted him. Her senses felt muffled, as if she were submerged in deep water.
Is the newspaper right?
She tried to ignore it. She had intended to let him do as he pleased. She had stated her terms, and if this was Declan's chosen method of atonement, she felt it deserved respect.
Besides, she knew his martial prowess. She was certain he wouldn't do anything reckless. Even before her regression, she never worried when he went to subjugate monsters. The news felt surreal—a mistake in reporting.
Vanessa, who had been staring out the window since they departed, slowly turned her gaze toward Hayden.
[Vanessa] "......Hayden."
He responded with a gentle smile.
Normally, she would have felt guilty for bringing up such a topic before his radiant face, but she was past the point of hesitation.
[Vanessa] "Has the situation settled?"
[Hayden] "The situation?"
[Vanessa] "The monsters."
The news was the talk of the Empire; the papers wouldn't print such a massive story without cause. Yet she couldn't bring herself to believe it. Hayden, as a member of the Imperial family, would know the truth.
Her heart throbbed with an odd, mechanical ache as she waited for his reply.
[Hayden] "Yes, fortunately."
He met her gaze and explained in a warm, soothing tone.
[Hayden] "I heard it is nearly finished. There is nothing for you to worry about, Vanessa."
He continued to smile, as if there—undeniably—was no cause for concern.
If that were the case, her confusion should have vanished. Instead, the turbulence in her heart only intensified. It followed her even as they reached the temple and the holy Covenant Ceremony began.
The High Priest conducted the Covenant Ceremony of the Imperial family. The couple recited their oaths, exchanged rings, and received a final blessing.
While Hayden recited his vow, her gaze wandered into the empty air.
Finished.
He said it was nearly finished. Did that "finish" include the life of Declan Vinkart? Was this peace merely the byproduct of his death?
The newspaper hadn't detailed his condition, using only vague, terrifying words like critical and catastrophic.
Instead of details about the man, the article focused on the future of the Vinkart line. Since Declan was unmarried and lacked an heir, the conversation had already shifted to who would inherit his legacy.
It left a bitter, sickening taste in her mouth.
It felt as though everyone had already accepted his death. While the event felt impossible to her, the rest of the world treated it as a settled fact, already fretting over his successor.
[High Priest] "It is now Lady Rohawk's turn."
The solemn voice of the High Priest echoed through the hall. Hayden's vow had ended.
Her eyes remained unfocused. Her lips, pressed tightly together, refused to move.
[Vanessa] "......"
The ceremony ground to a halt. The High Priest and Hayden both turned to her, their eyes filled with confusion. She couldn't meet their gaze.
[Hayden] "...Vanessa?"
He called her name, his face tightening with bewilderment.
[Vanessa] "Is he really......"
[Hayden] "Pardon?"
[Vanessa] "Is he really going to die......?"
He stared at her as she muttered the nonsensical question. Her eyes, tilted at a weak angle, did not see him. She seemed entirely unaware of where she was or what she was doing.
She was trapped in her own world, isolated from the grand hall.
Death. Catastrophic injury. Critical condition. No heir.
The lack of reality she felt in the carriage had been replaced by a crushing weight.
The question she asked Hayden to disprove the news had instead plunged her into a dark realization.
The news was real.
He might die......
Declan? That Declan Vinkart?
The thought sent a shiver racing across her skin.
She hated him. She resented him. She loathed him. She never wanted to see him again because his presence stirred up the impurities of her dark past.
But......
She never wished for his death. Especially not like this—not because she had driven him into the line of fire.
She wanted them to become strangers, living lives that never touched. She wanted to be happy, free from his psychological shackles.
That would have been better for both of them. As she once told Helia, they only hurt each other when they were together. Whether intentional or not, they were always desperate to wound one another, consumed by their own clumsy emotions.
Every action she took was meant to facilitate her escape from him. Her approach to Hayden, her agreement to the national wedding—it was all a shield. She used the Crown Prince's status to hide from the flames of the Grand Duke.
But if Declan died...
What was the point of this marriage?
Why was she forcing herself into a union with a man she didn't love? For what purpose?
If I give you another chance, are you confident you won't regret it?
The Goddess' voice echoed in her mind.
Faced with this reality, she wanted to ask herself that very same question.
Can you live without regret?
Was this the revenge she wanted?
To become the wife of a man she didn't love in a world where Declan no longer existed?
She took a step back.
Hayden's face hardened, as if he finally understood the weight of her retreat.
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